The Ballad of Maja and Carbón

[Emily_Babbelhund]

To try to preserve some of my own sanity, I’m starting a limited-time thread about my three weeks stroppy-teenager dog sitting for my friend’s 10 month old chihuahua, Maja.

It seems likely that I will need some sage advice…or just a place to virtually pull out my hair? So here I am.

Carbón and I are still zoinked from our Italian expedition, so today we mainly just had a rest. I know it’s a bit silly as I agreed to this stint months ago - plus I really do like little Maja - but I’m feeling pretty apprehensive on our last night without her.

My main worry is that Carbón will get beat down and I won’t balance attention between the two. He’s usually unflappable but Maja just seems to get him down and he doesn’t shout back at her.

My other worry is the added time to take care of her while I’m trying to get other things done. Specifically every time I need to go somewhere (grocery store, immigration office, doctor), I will need to first walk Maja to her ML’s apartment or store to be left there as I don’t feel it’s safe to leave her alone with Carbón.

Maja’s ML has done all she can so we have backup options if things go sideways, and I really appreciate the effort she’s put in to planning.

Also (again) I really do like Maja and voluntarily took this ‘assignment’ on. I’m just…

…freaking out a little! 🫣

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

She’s the size of a meerkat. How much trouble could she be?

 

[Cath]

Have you got a dog crate Emily?

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Have you got a dog crate Emily?

Maja has a small soft carrier that Nadine will give me tomorrow. But it isn’t something I’d leave her in unattended.

 

[kateincornwall]

Just two words , Good Luck

 

[Cath]

But it isn’t something I’d leave her in unattended.

No, but its good for time out if she won't leave Carbon alone. Good Luck

 

[Atemas]

my three weeks stroppy-teenager dog sitting for my friend’s 10 month old chihuahua, Maja.

Blimey @Emily_Babbelhund - three weeks is a long time. I think @Cath ’s idea of using a crate for time out is a good one - not to leave her alone in or alone with Carbón but for when she is bothering Carbon and he needs a break or some extra fuss from you. It could help you keep your sanity

Sky never told Red off as a puppy and for a long time I had to keep them separate out of respect and care for Sky. I was able to do this with separate rooms but I guess you can’t do that therefore a crate would help

 

[HAH]

So - I sympathise very hard with you on this. We have ongoing but improving cohabiting challenges, not the same but I feel your concerns and they’re completely valid.
My one big reflection is that you will find a groove - whatever needs to happen, if you need Maja to accompany you on trips to give Carbòn breathing space, or you need to create a separate fenced area in the apartment for Maja to chill her fiery beans, or whatever needs to happen - you will find a way to make it happen, and while it may not be easy it’ll get easier.
On specifics, I think the way you live with yourself and keep sane is to focus on Carbon’s wellbeing above all else. I’m certain you will - but in my experience with Kipper, as long as he’s completely confident you’ve got his back against the small terrorist interloper, he’s more likely to communicate clearly and bear up with fortitude, rather then shutting down or retreating into himself. I know this will be your priority, whilst Maja will be in clover I’m sure, Carbòn’s welfare is a non-negotiable and I think it helps to have that as a hard line. It sounds like you’ve got good contingency plans so don’t be afraid to use them if you find yourself sobbing in a corner (we’ve all been there…). And keep sharing! Who knows, Maja may find her inner Dalai Llama with you and Carbòn?

 

[Stacia]

Very difficult for you, Maja really needs to be severely told off by Carbon, once and for all, but I don't think it is Carbon's nature. However, familiarity may bring peace.

 

[HAH]

Maja really needs to be severely told off by Carbon, once and for all, but I don't think it is Carbon's nature.

I disagree with this. It’s not our dog’s job to train other dogs. We’re the guardians who control their spaces, so I think it’s very much our responsibility to - as far as possible - set everyone up for success, or at least to keep everyone safe and unmolested.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

On specifics, I think the way you live with yourself and keep sane is to focus on Carbon’s wellbeing above all else. I’m certain you will - but in my experience with Kipper, as long as he’s completely confident you’ve got his back against the small terrorist interloper, he’s more likely to communicate clearly and bear up with fortitude, rather then shutting down or retreating into himself. I know this will be your priority, whilst Maja will be in clover I’m sure, Carbòn’s welfare is a non-negotiable and I think it helps to have that as a hard line.

Thank you for this good advice. I actually need to work on prioritizing Carbón. He’s normally quite chilled and confident, except in some very specific circumstances like this (also @Beanwood saw the less confident side of him with Woody). It tends to surprise me so much that I don’t quite know the right way to react. @Beanwood advised me to work on boosting his confidence with more positivity and I will really focus on also following your advice to prioritize him during Maja’s stay with us.

I do know that he’s number one, but I think my knee-jerk reaction of taking care of the ‘newbie’ comes from having had so many needy fosters and my own previous dogs (Duncan and Brogan) who were very confident around the fosters. Carbón is different, so I need to relearn the way I manage the newbie.

. It could help you keep your sanity

Yes, I used it like that during our trial overnighters. It’s only ok for 10 minutes or so - longer and she goes crazy. But it was good for when I eat my meals. My flat doesn’t have a dining table so you need to eat on the coffee table in front of the sofa. She literally launched herself into my dinner plate the first time, so I instituted a ‘in your crate’ policy. Also Carbón shares some of my food and he won’t eat unless she’s crated. I also gave her a special treat to have in the carrier, so she was relatively happy for a few minutes. That will help a lot.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Who knows, Maja may find her inner Dalai Llama with you and Carbòn?

I hope so! It’s an opportunity for her and me to both learn something.

I think Carbón will just learn that he’s happiest as an only child.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Very difficult for you, Maja really needs to be severely told off by Carbon, once and for all, but I don't think it is Carbon's nature. However, familiarity may bring peace.

so I think it’s very much our responsibility to - as far as possible - set everyone up for success, or at least to keep everyone safe and unmolested.

Carbón has no problem doing a minor ‘tell off ‘ to a puppy on the street if they get too rowdy. I must admit I’m not a huge fan, as neither of my Rotties did that (they were big softies) so it makes me nervous.

Maja - for whatever reason - freaks him out. I think it has to do with his previous very positive relationship with Fine, but who knows?


I do know that he feels threatened by her and I don’t trust him to not eventually crack and ‘over correct’ her if I don’t take precautions to protect him. That’s why I’m not leaving him alone with her.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

I’m also wondering if I should keep letting her sleep in the bed with me. It’s where she does best (and where she normally sleeps at home), but Carbón leaves and goes in the living room, which normally he’d NEVER do.

They did spend time together on the bed during the day at her last stay, so there’s hope Carbón might get used to her at night, but who knows?

 

[Cath]

Carbón leaves and goes in the living room, which normally he’d NEVER do.

No I think Carbon comes first, she should be ok in her carrier

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Oops, Freudian slip: it’s only TWO weeks with Miss Maja and until I leave for the US. Not sure how I made THAT mistake. I think I’m losing brain cells!

 

[Atemas]

it’s only TWO weeks

Well that’s good

I think I’m losing brain cells!

Join the club! I actually forgot to give Red her breakfast this morning. She did get it eventually but I have never forgotten before and she has never not reminded me before

 

[Stacia]

I disagree with this. It’s not our dog’s job to train other dogs. We’re the guardians who control their spaces, so I think it’s very much our responsibility to - as far as possible - set everyone up for success, or at least to keep everyone safe and unmolested.

A mother dog would tell off her pup! I believe Maja is a young dog. I am not advocating a dog fight.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

A mother dog would tell off her pup! I believe Maja is a young dog. I am not advocating a dog fight.

I see both sides of the argument. But in this case, avoiding the conflict may be better as Maja doesn’t see Carbón as a mother dog figure - or really didn’t appear to as I don’t claim to be a chihuahua mind reader. I’d guess she sees him more as an indentured serf.

Also when he had grumbled at her in the beginning, she came at him 10x harder, which may be part of why he doesn’t dare to tell her off at all now.

She’s here now, and I’ve very pointedly put Carbón on the sofa with his blanket. This is new as usually Maja claims the sofa immediately. I’m thinking about doing everything to show Maja that Carbón comes first here, but she still gets love, play, treats, and cuddles from me too. Let’s see how we all do this first day.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]