So you know your own dog, but I have two very different “modes”. One (the 99% of the time one) us teaching them they have a say, and teaching them how to work within those parameters. Let’s not be obscure about it, though - this is a conversation I’ve had elsewhere recently - the idea of choice is a bit of a misnomer. Yes, at any time the dog has the choice to opt out, but everything I’m doing is in order to create a reinforcement history so rich that the dog doesn’t want to.... so the choice long term is all mine!
Anyhow, outside of the 99%, there are times that things have to happen. My dogs need their nails trimmed now because I’ve not done it in a while because of the finger, and so when it happens they will have no choice. We have a different approach for these times and the dogs understand it. It sucks, but they put up with it and I work as quickly as I can to get through it... less food but I’m not reinforcing behaviours, so it’s not as necessary. Just get in there, do the job, get out, play an amazing game afterwards.
BUT it is going to depend on the dog and how they’re going to react to that.To date, Willow had been my most sensitive and she hates her feet being touched in day to day stuff. If she’s sat next to me and I accidentally touch her foot, she will jump a mile. But, she’s learned that on these odd occasions where nail trims are non negotiable, it is what it is. She doesn’t even need restraining in any way: it started with J holding her, then he’d just sit next to her and now it’s just a case of me alone, and simply not asking her for her start button. She gets the context and is compliant. I always ensure I don’t just grab her foot, and run my hand down her whole leg to get to the foot because that seems easier for her.
But, you know your dog, and one thing I’ve learned along this rollercoaster so far is that every dog is different, and some are more different than others!
Some dogs (Shadow specifically) needed a bit of a shove through that barrier to find out that, actually, the clippers/file weren’t trying to kill him, and once he was shown that, he embraced the cooperative aspects of it. Others will always need super careful gangling, especially if there’s any chance of redirecting onto the person with the clippers.
All this to say, I know the struggle is real. I know you’re doing your best. I know that it’s hard! And I know that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
Talia’s nails are fricking awful, and it hurts me to see, because I know that she will be sore day to day (just like when our nails are too long and hit the ends of our shoes) but she’s also obviously not massively active, and has so much more to sort through, so that’s a battle for another day. For an active dog, I’d consider it more of a priority because I’ve seen in Ginny how drastically an altered gait can affect the dog’s back, and then there are problems everywhere.
But, I have no answers for you, and only you know exactly how she is, and how much you can possibly expect from her.