But can you love them the same ?

[kateincornwall]

I had an interesting conversation this afternoon , with a nice lady I know reasonably well , she hasn't ever rehomed a dog but is considering it . The question in the title of this thread is one that she asked me , she was worried that she wouldn't be able to love a " second hand dog " or as in Nelly`s case , a third hand dog . She has loved her pups and bonded quickly as they have grown , she is a Golden Retriever fan , and has seen a dog in a local shelter who has touched her heart .
So , yes I said , you can love them the same, it might just take a little longer for the love to grow but then often it takes a little time for love to grow with regards to a puppy !
I could only speak from my own experiences , and frankly I rarely think of Nelly as having had other people before us , tending to think that her life started when she came to us . Be interesting to get other views on this ?

 

[Boogie]

We don’t love and of them the same, but we love them as much.

.

 

[Stacia]

One of my favourite dogs was a rescue, I didn't have him until he was 13 months and I loved him just as much as if I had had him from a pup.

 

[Naya]

I have loved my foster dogs, but in different ways to Harley. Harley is definitely my everything, but I did grow very attached to 2 of my foster dogs - Spero and Tristan. Spero now lives in Australia and has an amazing life, Tristan is very much loving his home with a retired couple who dote on him. I keep in touch with both as they do have a special place in my heart even though they both had their challenges.

 

[FayRose]

It's an interesting question.
I have loved my re-homed dogs but there was a difference between how I felt about them from how I felt about those I raised from pups. Almost a different sort of bond.

I wonder if its anything to do with the devotion that comes from a pup that is totally reliant on you for his/her every need. Mostly re-homed dogs are already grown (mine have been) and do not need that level of nurture.

Will be interesting to hear what others experiences and feelings are.

 

[Aitch]

I have (and still do) loved my rescues and rehomed dogs every bit as much as my "home grown from pups" dogs. It doesn't matter to me where they come from. Each one is different and has their own needs just as children do so, as long as you are willing to adapt, the bond will grow and thrive.

 

[SwampDonkey]

I love them all differently but all just as deeply. All my dogs have moved me in different ways they've all been so different.

 

[Heidrun]

Three of my five dogs came to me when they were out of the puppy stage. They were around 18 months or so of age. I love them as much as I love my two springer girls who I have had from a pup. One of the rescues is Amy my young Clumber. I can honestly say that I have never had a stronger bond with any other dog than I have with her. I will be forever grateful to the rescue charity which put her into my care. So, yes, it is definitely possible to love and to bond with a second hand dog as much as with a puppy.

 

[Joy]

The first dog I had as an adult was a Springer Spaniel from the dogs' home. We think she was about 2 years old when she came to us and both my OH and I loved her deeply, as much as later dogs we've had from pups.

 

[Lisa]

Definitely! It was hard with Simba at first, compared to the two I raised as pups, but I love him just as much. The challenges we faced together make a different kind of bond. I have an appreciation for him as I saw him grow and change that I didn’t have for my other pooches.

 

[Plum's mum]

I haven't had rescues or fosters but I have looked after other dogs for friends during holidays and other times. The two I had most input with, a lab and lab mix, I loved as if they were my own and as much as the labs I grew up with.

It was when the lab died a few years ago that I subconsciously set in motion my plans for my own dog.

 

[edzbird]

I have fallen in love with our 3 rescues deeply and very quickly....and I already feel the same love for Meg who isn't even ours yet. Heaven help me if by that 0.0001% chance we don't get her. I love them as strongly as I did my 2 childhood dogs - one of which I had from 8 weeks (the other was already there when I was born).

We take about our dogs lives pre-us, but I don't really think of them as really living pre-us.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

@kateincornwall , I've been thinking about this since you posted and reading everyone's answers with interest. Mags' answer really got me -

We don’t love any of them the same, but we love them as much.

I've only had one foster/rescue who became my forever dog, and that was Mama Jodhi. Then I've had fosters and a few of those were the very special fosters who stay longer or just for whatever reason wormed their way into my hearts more deeply.

While I've loved all of them, if I really think about it, I realized that the big difference was both my efforts and training and my expectations of them from the training. Fosters or rescues I've tried to get to a "hey, I can live with this dog" training level vs. being really versed in obedience training. So housetraining, recall, riding in a car, not being destructive, getting along with other dogs, basic leash walking. I've taken two fosters through beginning and intermediate training classes, but even that was more to give them confidence and experience around other dogs than any lofty goals.

However both of my puppies (Duncan and Brogan) got the full on structured training treatment from day one. I had very high expectations and goals and both of them did fabulously. In hindsight, I don't know if this was because they were puppies or because they were Rottweilers. It's very inspirational to do your best when they are tiny when you know that at some point they are going to weigh quite a bit more than you.

In terms of just plain old love, Jodhi is the only rescue I've had from fostering to adoption to passing on from old age. She and I definitely had a much different relationship than I had with Brogan or Duncan. I was very protective of the two boys and they both felt very much like working parters. Jodhi was her own independent self and while sometimes I pulled my hair out over her antics, I didn't try (much) to mould her behaviour through training.

This has really made me think about how I'm working with Carbon now and future fosters. I wouldn't try to love them any differently, but I should try to have training goals - or loftier training goals - no matter where they come from or what age I start. Certainly Carbon is teaching me that I can train a dog that isn't a puppy in more than just the basics.

Except for maybe not the "Don't eat pretzels off the ground" thing. I'm really start to despair of that one!

 

[Boogie]

I know exactly what you mean @Emily_Babbelhund

Tatze is trained to the first criteria - a good dog to live with. The pups are trained to the enth degree, ready for Big School.

I adore Tatze, she’s my special girl. But, when I don’t have a pup, I really miss the challenge of raising/training them to a high standard. But I need a purpose, I couldn’t get interested in training Tatze to the same standard as there is no need.

I’m just the same with my art. I really want to paint, do I paint? - no! I need a purpose. ‘Tho now that I’m retired I’m inching there, I’ve joined an art class and I’m looking at weekend painting courses. Hopefully I may be able to sell them to fundraiser for GDs (in a similar way to our selling the wooden Labrador stuff).

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

I adore Tatze, she’s my special girl. But, when I don’t have a pup, I really miss the challenge of raising/training them to a high standard. But I need a purpose, I couldn’t get interested in training Tatze to the same standard as there is no need.

Yep, having a goal /specific purpose makes all the difference to me too. Goal with my fosters - make them ready to be happy members of a new family. Goal with Duncan was take him everywhere with me and have him be an exemplary ambassador for how wonderful Rotties can be. Then when Brogan came along I'd had my accident (with the side benefit of being qualified for a helper dog) so it was service dog training.

Carbon has been this weird hybrid as I know he's a foster and yet I missed the service dog training with Brogan so much that I've just sort of gone in that direction without a specific goal other than the usual of helping him adapt to his eventual forever family better.

While I realise that this has gone completely off Kate's original topic, regarding Carbon's training, your (@Boogie 's) idea of a training vest was brilliant. At first I thought it was Carbon responding to it somehow but what I've come to realise is that while he's wearing it, I hold MYSELF to higher standards. And we both do better.

 

[edzbird]

At first I thought it was Carbon responding to it somehow but what I've come to realise is that while he's wearing it, I hold MYSELF to higher standards. And we both do better.

I'm certain you're right here. I find something as simple as clipping a treat bag to my pocket ups my ante.

 

[snowbunny]

I was thinking about this question after my little scare with Ginny last night. I think in adopting an older dog, and one with a life-limiting physical condition, I have guarded myself a bit and not given myself over completely to her because I know that our time together is likely limited to only a small handful of years. You don't think the same way when you bring home a puppy.

I couldn't say I love her less, she's mine, my heart and soul. Her character is amazing and she's so funny. But, it's different, for sure. With the Labs, it seems more primal, like they are an inseparable part of me.

The thought of losing any of them brings me pain, but with the Labs, it's such a feeling of absolute dread. With Ginny, it brings me to tears but it's also tempered by knowing that we walked into this with eyes open, and knowing that we have done so much for her. Every time she laughs with us, with that glint in her eye, I can't help but be grateful that we have had the opportunity to make her golden years shine.

 

[kateincornwall]

Love doesn't have to be the same does it ? I have loved many dogs over my many years, but never loved as deeply as I loved Sam . He was simply my lad , my world and my pride and joy , our gentle giant . I loved Nelly too , but in more of a protective way , I felt sorry for her previous years, of being unwanted and unloved .
Now , that love has changed and become more profound , I don't have to protect her so much , the sad years have long gone , she has become a confident happy little soul and it fills my heart with joy to see her scampering around the woods , always close and ever watchful .
So yes , @Boogie is spot on , the love is not the same, but just as much xx