Adolescent chat

[Selina27]

I’m finding some of our regressions really frustrating at the moment!

I think we've all been there, when we work so hard it's doubly frustrating I think.
Thing is, if you keep doing all the plus R things you've learnt it will come together, it will be in there even if somedays right now it flies out of his brain. Well that's been my experience anyway, a study of one I know, and from the lofty heights of having a 2 and a half year old! She has definitely put me through the wringer at times, and will always be the outgoing dog she is, but there has been a subtle shift lately.

I have now learnt not to beat myself up....

This !

 

[HAH]

when we work so hard it's doubly frustrating I think

you're so right @Selina27 - and it's really encouraging to hear from you gang who've got the tshirt! I think this is my biggest frustration at the moment, that I'm trying hard (too hard?!) yet not quite getting there; and although there's clearly the fact that he's not a little robot so will have good days and bad days, I'm pretty sure that most hiccups are down to my shonky handling/training skills. But hey, we all start somewhere and it's a (mostly) fun learning process for everyone! I just need to dial down the pressure

 

[Selina27]

I just need to dial down the pressure

Yeah haha, but it's easier said than done, I know!

 

[snowbunny]

It's difficult when what has previously been a pretty linear progression suddenly turns into a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Easy to think it's a failure on our part, but it's really just them growing up. They are going through a flux which means that they may behave differently from one day tot he next, and we have to be very much on our toes to actually observe our dogs and read what they're telling us, rather than simply relying on the picture we have built in our minds about what they can do. It's not easy to register that he is finding it too difficult to walk along a road that he has walked along a hundred times before without issue, but that's the way it is.
Give yourself a break, take a deep breath and try to look at the dog in front of you - the one that is there with you in that moment. Not the one that you knew last month, yesterday, or even ten minutes ago. Pretend he's a new dog you've never met before. What is he telling you? Deal with that, and you'll be rosy.

 

[Selina27]

relying on the picture we have built in our minds about what they can do.

I've definitely been guilty of that, once I began to let go of trying to be the "perfect trainer" for my girl our relationship got better and better.

 

[Natalie]

@HAH you mentioned on another thread that you had some anxieties when out with Kipper - just thought I wold share something that happened with me a few years back, may or may not be similar to waht you're going through.

When Monty was 18 months ish, I would get really stressed when I was out alone with him off lead. I had images of him racing towards other dogs, getting lost, getting bitten, knocking someone over. Some were misplaced - he's not a 'running away dog', but he is a 'running toward another dog' dog.

So, I decided to just walk him on lead. No great hardship, as he got 2 - 3 small off lead group dog walks a week with his dog walker, and OH at weekends had no issue at all with having him off lead. So for the 2 times each week I was doing his 'main' walk, I stuck to pavement walks - a bit boring, but I was way less stressed.

Then, I'd start to go into the fields and say to myself, I'll just let him off for 5 minutes when there's definitely no-one else around. Or clip him on lead when we went round a corner, through a hedge, any blind spot. Quite soon my confidence grew and within 4-6 months my anxiety had gone.

Now, I'm not saying that was a good strategy for improving Monty's recall, perhaps even the opposite - but I felt more in control and didn't dread walks on my own. Now, I never really fancy an on-lead walk!

So, whatever works for you, don't beat yourself up - sounds like you have a supportive OH - mine was just like ' he's a good dog, don't worry' - which is true, but didn't really help me feel less stressed.

 

[kateincornwall]

Stress is just so awful and counter productive too as our dogs do sense it and act accordingly , like lunatics ! So we then get more stressed , round and round it goes with then becoming less manageable by the minute . Its tough at times, this dog owning lark , but you are never the only one x

 

[Selina27]

Its tough at times, this dog owning lark

That's so true.

 

[SwampDonkey]

Your not on your oh can't walk the dogs at all off lead because of his anxiety. I do it so he doesn't have to it's really hard for him. I totally get what you are saying.

 

[Joy]

Everyone has blips and days when it all goes wrong @HAH . Don't beat yourself up - think of all you've achieved. I think I'd only use my recall when Kipper is actually coming towards you for a bit, to strengthen the association with it and the treat, and otherwise just go and get him. I'd also think about some more games (tug etc) to play together while you're out so that he's engaging with you.

 

[HAH]

Thanks gang, it's so helpful to hear from others and get that clearer perspective based on experience I currently lack.

They are going through a flux which means that they may behave differently from one day tot he next, and we have to be very much on our toes to actually observe our dogs and read what they're telling us, rather than simply relying on the picture we have built in our minds about what they can do

This is a really key thing to get my head round, it's not a straight trajectory and actually you deal with who's in front of you. I'm not yet confident in my ability to read body language, so this is something I just need to learn - plus I'm never sure what's hormone flux and what's standard behaviour (but I keep telling myself it doesn't matter).

let go of trying to be the "perfect trainer"

don't beat yourself up

I think you've said it all here! My challenge is that I probably have a fairly clear view on my limitations, but am quite unrealistic in how quickly I can improve It'll come in time, our situation has changed radically over the last few weeks - we've gone from OH being the primary walker while I was finishing my studies, to me having time again - so there are a lot of things I've just not been in the habit of doing. This is part of what OH was saying at the weekend, it's taken him a few months to gain confidence in Kipper being out of sight, whereas it scares the bejeesus out of me. It'll come...

more games (tug etc) to play together

You're spot on @Joy, and I could do with broadening my repertoire - I've booked on for a day's 'Leash off, game on' training at Devon Dogs next weekend, it couldn't come at a better time! @SwampDonkey I'm thinking this might improve the off-lead confidence too; fingers crossed

 

[snowbunny]

I'm not yet confident in my ability to read body language, so this is something I just need to learn - plus I'm never sure what's hormone flux and what's standard behaviour (but I keep telling myself it doesn't matter).

It doesn't matter at all, and it doesn't have to be body language you're reading. Just, if you ask him to do something and he doesn't do it, or if he's sniffing too much, or getting overly excited around other dogs, or whatever it is, look at the behaviour as information: he's having a tough time doing what you're asking, so make it simpler

 

[snowbunny]

Oh, one other thing, just get a handful of games that you both find really, really easy and fun. Things like hand targeting - move position with it so he has to jump up, go between your legs, chase you etc. Ping-pong recall is another good one. Things that take very little mental capacity on either part but are fun. When things are challenging, take a couple of minutes and just play these games. It'll get you both back to a place where you're happier and able to work together through the challenges you're having.

 

[HAH]

Oh, one other thing, just get a handful of games that you both find really, really easy and fun. Things like hand targeting - move position with it so he has to jump up, go between your legs, chase you etc. Ping-pong recall is another good one. Things that take very little mental capacity on either part but are fun. When things are challenging, take a couple of minutes and just play these games. It'll get you both back to a place where you're happier and able to work together through the challenges you're having.

This is excellent, I think they're sometimes called 'conversation starters' by the Absolute Dogs crowd? We have a little repertoire of two up, hand targeting and (increasingly) find it which I'm hoping to add to, ping pong recall is one I'd forgotten recently. It's also as you've said in previous conversations a great way to guage arousal, interest etc. We also need to work on figure 8s... Hoorah, there's a lot to play with here!

 

[Kay]

I feel your pain @HAH and you are not alone!!

We’ve hit a whole new stratosphere level of over-arousal on the lead here - I have the lead burns to show for it!

But in between my desperation of feeling completely incompetent - I know that at least doing +R - I’m not doing him any harm with my mistakes

Having a mental list of ‘go-to’ games is a great idea - my brain often goes to squish when in stressy situations so I’m going to ‘borrow’ that idea!

I often carry a little squeaky toy that he doesn’t get any other time and if I’m struggling to get his attention and really need it - then I’ll just squeak it in my pocket and then have a little play. I guess the novelty factor works there as he doesn’t get it much. I’ve also (not on purpose) done ‘reaaaaaady, steaaaaaady……’ and then stick a something on the end. Maybe tug, middle, touch etc. But that often works - just the start of ‘ready - can get his attention and he gets set up to come charging back after steady.

For me, none of these little tricks work yet if there’s a hint of another dog in the county - but hey, work in progress!

Have a great time at the weekend. I'm sure you'll come away harmed with loads of practical tools to use and heaps of enthusiasm and confidence to ride out this patch

 

[HAH]

work in progress!

Thanks @Kay , it’s so heartening to hear your experiences too - and I love your ideas, I’ll definitely pop a squeaker in my treat bag now (I knew I kept one from old Mr Fox for a reason!), such a good way to just change pace. Also loving your ‘reaaady...’ cue, that’s neat. Thanks for the support - we had a great session at training tonight, it’s helpful to just re-set and remember it’s all a process that’s fun far more often than it’s not!

 

[Lab_adore]

Well Maxx was doing perfect walks and recall for three whole days. Then this morning OH said he took off from the rugby field and up onto the footpath, right near the road to see a passing dog. Ignoring the whistle completely. Sigh.

 

[HAH]

Heyy, but @Lab_adore - maybe this is the blip now?! Eh? As in, ‘new normal’ Maxx is Mr Cool most of the time, but 25% he’s just a little...iffy?

 

[Lab_adore]

I really really really hope so @HAH !

Mr cool also got into the kitchen this morning (someone...and I'm at work...left the baby gate open) and was discovered with not one, not two but three tea-towels in his mouth! Oh and the paper towels were shredded so the kitchen floor resembled a snowy nativity scene.

 

[HAH]

Our Mr Cool has developed quite a Christmas card habit. His bed is very glittery from the ones I lazily left on the kitchen table... (I know @Boogie , don’t give them the opportunity!)