Yep I would be seeking help and trying not to inflict my problems on others, that's what grown ups do . I also find it's odd to go to a place with the thing that's causes uncontrollable fear is ambling about. I suspect she fears more than dogs and that she finds life a bit of a handful. I'm terrified of lifts but have us them daily so I schooled myself and am ok. As to where do you walk that's her problem not anyone elses
A horrible walk today
- Thread starter kateincornwall
- Start date
- Status
Atemas
UK Tour Guide
- Location
- North Cambridgeshire
No excuse for the man shouting obscenities - none whatsoever
- Location
- Herefordshire, UK
Yes what you say is true.
But trying to get into someone else's car and shouting obscenities is in no way acceptable or excusable in my view
- Location
- Andorra and Spain
I have sympathy for everyone involved.
Of course it was horrible for Kate and Reuben. But, as Rachael says, if her fear were so bad that she couldn't control her actions, that is something she deserves sympathy for. If it were one of our dogs who was lunging and biting from extreme fear, we would understand. As that dog's owner, we may shout at the thing causing our beloved dog such terror, in order to get them to move away. Humans are animals, too, and can react in very much the same way.
It may also be that she doesn't have such an extreme reaction every time she sees a dog and that a specific thing triggered her this time. I am afraid of flying. Sometimes I maintain my composure, other times I turn into a shaking, blubbering wreck. I don't know what my trigger is because there seems to me to be no rhyme nor reason.
It may also be that she has some underlying condition that caused this reaction: mental health issues or physical trauma. Without having all the details, we probably shouldn't jump to name-calling, even though it's natural that we want to, to protect and support *our* loved ones, Kate and Reuben. Even if she were nothing more than stupid for putting herself in that position, it sounds as if it was a horrible experience for her, too.
I'm certainly not saying I follow my own advice all (or even much) of the time, but taking a step back and considering that there may be a bigger picture can sometimes help to disperse the stress and anger towards the other people. There's already too much of that in the world.
Of course it was horrible for Kate and Reuben. But, as Rachael says, if her fear were so bad that she couldn't control her actions, that is something she deserves sympathy for. If it were one of our dogs who was lunging and biting from extreme fear, we would understand. As that dog's owner, we may shout at the thing causing our beloved dog such terror, in order to get them to move away. Humans are animals, too, and can react in very much the same way.
It may also be that she doesn't have such an extreme reaction every time she sees a dog and that a specific thing triggered her this time. I am afraid of flying. Sometimes I maintain my composure, other times I turn into a shaking, blubbering wreck. I don't know what my trigger is because there seems to me to be no rhyme nor reason.
It may also be that she has some underlying condition that caused this reaction: mental health issues or physical trauma. Without having all the details, we probably shouldn't jump to name-calling, even though it's natural that we want to, to protect and support *our* loved ones, Kate and Reuben. Even if she were nothing more than stupid for putting herself in that position, it sounds as if it was a horrible experience for her, too.
I'm certainly not saying I follow my own advice all (or even much) of the time, but taking a step back and considering that there may be a bigger picture can sometimes help to disperse the stress and anger towards the other people. There's already too much of that in the world.
- Location
- The Hague, The Netherlands
So sorry @kateincornwall you had to deal with this awful situation. Some people don't understand dogs and wave their hands and scream which obviously upsets our dog even more but they just don't understand or what to understand. Every week at least once or twice, I have to deal with tiny kids screaming and flapping their hands in front of Hunter, and then the aggressive parent. As soon as we see children on the street , we always stop, move to the side and Hunter sits and gets a treat. I let them pass by but there is always the crazy screaming parent to contend with as well even though we stopped and gave them space.
The couple are the ones who need the help and their behaviour may have a bigger picture but it was still entirely inappropriate and disrespectful of your own space and belongings. There's nowt stranger than folk as my Grandma would say.
Sorry the walk left you feeling flat. X
The couple are the ones who need the help and their behaviour may have a bigger picture but it was still entirely inappropriate and disrespectful of your own space and belongings. There's nowt stranger than folk as my Grandma would say.
Sorry the walk left you feeling flat. X
- Location
- Malvern Worcestershire
@snowbunny, I understand your thinking, however, if I had that extreme fear of dogs, I would not go to a place where there are many dogs. That might sound hard but there must be beautiful places that can be walked in with enough space to see if a dog is coming. OK, the couple were scared of dogs, they could have said 'we are very frightened of dogs, please could you put him/her on the lead', there was no excuse for using obscenities, or screaming. I am afraid of flying, so I don't fly 
- Location
- Isle of Man
- Location
- Canberra, Australia
The attempt to get in the car and the screaming/swearing were all major fear reactions. Yes, they need strategies to deal with this….yes their current strategies totally suck. But people react like that when their brain is telling them their life is as risk, or when trying to protect someone they love.
We all want sympathy and understanding for our dogs if they react in an extreme way out of fear… Hopefully we then seek help with it but first you need to know you need help, what kind of help, where to find it, have it available, be able to afford it….
We all want sympathy and understanding for our dogs if they react in an extreme way out of fear… Hopefully we then seek help with it but first you need to know you need help, what kind of help, where to find it, have it available, be able to afford it….
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
As someone who is always seeing 'no dogs' signs and gritting my teeth, there are plenty of choices for people who want to go for a walk and not be bothered by dogs. Cornwall is very dog friendly, but there are still places that are either off limits to dogs (especially this time of year) or where there are few people or dogs. The place Kate is referring to is mega busy, both with humans and dogs. It was a very poor choice for this couple. It was also a very poor choice to have the meltdown interaction with Kate and then CONTINUE further on into the area with lots of dogs. And by lots of dogs, I mean that each time I've been there, you are surrounded by half a dozen dogs at least before even getting 20 ft into the park. It is not a surprise.
I suppose we could give them the benefit of the doubt and say they were significantly mentally impaired as well as phobic, but it starts to stretch the bounds of reality...
I suppose we could give them the benefit of the doubt and say they were significantly mentally impaired as well as phobic, but it starts to stretch the bounds of reality...
- Location
- Canberra, Australia
Maybe it was their first time there, who knows. Maybe her husband made her go there.
Of course this was a horrible experience for Kate and Paul, who did not deserve to be yelled at, let alone targeted with swears. Totally agree it was shitty.
I feel sorry that Kate had another bad experience on a walk Simultaneously I feel sorry for this woman. Fear is a terrible thing to live with, whether you are human or dog. This woman obviously has no idea what to do.
Of course this was a horrible experience for Kate and Paul, who did not deserve to be yelled at, let alone targeted with swears. Totally agree it was shitty.
I feel sorry that Kate had another bad experience on a walk
Simultaneously I feel sorry for this woman. Fear is a terrible thing to live with, whether you are human or dog. This woman obviously has no idea what to do.
- Location
- Cornwall , UK
I also have a degree of sympathy for her and for anyone who suffers from acute fear or anxiety . I can only give them the benefit of the doubt that they were maybe on holiday and therefore didnt know that this particular area is used by many dog walkers , very many .
There are, as Emily says , many walks where dogs are not allowed or must be kept on lead so hopefully they will discover one of these in future if the fear is so great x
There are, as Emily says , many walks where dogs are not allowed or must be kept on lead so hopefully they will discover one of these in future if the fear is so great x
- Location
- Andorra and Spain
Yes. As I said, we don't have all the information. I am trying to put understanding and positivity out into the world rather than anger and hatred, that's all. It's not worth the increase in blood pressure.
That's got me about the whole thing instead of getting back in their car and leaving they went on walking and upsetting everyone else. If I get to s place by car with my dogs and it looks too busy or picnicky I go somewhere else. I think she finds it a rewarding behaviour so she keeps doing it.
- Location
- Andorra and Spain
Like this conversation then....
Well the woman got what she wanted but I don't think Kate did.
- Location
- Andorra and Spain
I'm not talking about Kate, I'm talking about the repeated bashing of a stranger without all the facts. Repeated, therefore reinforcing.
Oh I thought you were talking about a friend being abused and frightened by a total stranger in a car park.
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- Location
- Andorra and Spain
Nope, we covered that already. I believe I have been very clear. Let me spell it out one more time. The bashing of a stranger is unnecessary and unkind. We don't know all the circumstances. I don't think this sort of behaviour has any place in the world and I will call it out when I see it. That you persist with it demonstrates that this unkindness is somehow being reinforced.
Offering sympathies and support to Kate is appropriate and necessary. Her reaction was and is appropriate. She was the one who experienced it. That doesn't mean the rest of us have to - or should - denigrate others whose lives we aren't living. Their actions may seem unconscionable to us, but that is of no consequence. We don't know the full story. We should not leap to unkindness and name-calling.
I simply wish for a world where people are less keen to jump straight to cruelty and instead consider that looking for the good is of benefit to everyone. To consider another person's behaviour with the same level of understanding we afford our dogs when they do something that on the surface seems batshit crazy. That's all.
I am not hoping for or expecting you to change your opinion. But maybe someone else reading this will understand that it is entirely our own choice how we react to these situations and that maybe being more understanding and tolerant is a more pleasant outcome for everyone.
Now I'm off to walk my dogs, and have no interest in continuing with this ridiculous one-upmanship that you're obviously intent on playing with no discernible benefit to anyone.
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So what is my opinion you seem to have made some interesting judgements
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