Everything has changed

kateincornwall

kateincornwall

Location
Cornwall , UK
Before my leg pain which started last March , leading to a major operation , then very recently angiogram angioplasty , my walks were long and very enjoyable . The dogs would have a short off lead walk at Golitha Falls in the morning , followed by a long walk in the afternoons, often for three/four or more miles , this is not happening now . Now they have just one after lunch walk which I am sad to say, is not a long one as before . I have to remind myself that the recover period from a major bypass surgery is 3-4 months and it is not yet 3 months , then I had the angioplasty to top it all but Reuben has changed so much . He does not fuss to have a morning walk, he knows it isnt happening and accepts it , his afternoon one is often just half an hour but this is all off lead with loads of retrieving to keep his body and brain occupied . To be honest , although it is early days , I cannot see me ever getting back to how things used to be . Reuben seems quite happy, he has gained some weight but then he was a skinny minnie before all this started and I can still feel his ribs but yes, he has gained some . He is more calm , even when visitors come, its like he has had to grow up, the test time will be when @Emily_Babbelhund comes as he always goes crackerdog when he sees her and Carbon . I try to vary our walks as much as possible and really do not want to resort to the scooter as it would be like an admission of failure to me, but I do worry terribly . Yes , he goes to Anna twice a week where he has loads of exercise and fun so maybe I am worrying over not a lot , its just such a shame that I cant go where I want to go . I have an appointment to see Mr. Dix on December 20th where he will decide whether or not I need any further surgery , where and when do you draw the line ? I just dont know , I just want my boy to be happy xxx
 
Selina27

Selina27

Location
Herefordshire, UK
kateincornwall said:
I just want my boy to be happy xxx
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But he is though, isn't he? From what you describe :)

At 3, you could expect him to be a bit more grown (as much as a Lab is ever!) and also I think that "filling out" a bit weight wise would be normal. It sounds like he's adapting to the circumstances as well.

I was only talking to someone the other day who does field trialling with his spaniels, and we were discussing the mental versus physical exercise and how brain work is so important for our dogs, and just how many people complain that they cannot tire their dogs out, no matter how far they walk. I'm sure the retrieving fulfills that for him.

It seems to me Reuben has a very good and satisfying life for a Labrador. I'm sorry though that you are experiencing the loss of your much loved walks :sad: I know it's really hard. I hope that slow and ready wins the race and you can get back to something like your previous form.
 
HAH

HAH

Moderator
Location
Devon, UK
Ah Kate, it sounds like you've reached a very understandable weary stage where it all feels a bit bleak. Don't forget how far you've come in the last few days - look back to last week - and the week before that? You clearly (sensibly!) recognise that Reuben is happy, and he sounds as if his physique and temperament are all in line with a maturing, well-adjusted adult dog in a loving and safe home.

There is probably little value in thinking about getting back to old ways of doing things; purely because at the moment, it's not serving you in any way. It's like looking through the wrong end of a telescope, everything's a bit distorted and you miss all the rich detail up close! If you were talking to a friend, you'd be saying; focus on what you can do. It's understandably frustrating to not be able to go where you want to go at the moment; but I bet there are benefits to enforced slowness like noticing more around you, and Reuben and Nelly getting more focussed attention on walks.

I've been reading a fair bit of recent discussions on the value of letting dogs be dogs (within all the usual boundaries of safety and living in a human world). Tapping into their instincts and using enrichment activities that let them meet their breed drives, like your retrieval games with Reuben, are all so valuable in helping dogs to enjoy their lives with us. With Kipper, I felt guilty for a time that he was being 'deprived' of longer walks and higher tempo activity - but length of walk is far less important than levels of engagement and doing simple dog stuff. You're meeting these needs beautifully; so now you simply need to think of yourself as the third dog in the household and treat yourself gently, without pressure, and with lots of praise for small gains. You're doing brilliantly x
 
MellowYellow

MellowYellow

Awww Kate, you need to give yourself a break. You've had a major health issue, and of course your recovery is taking time. After my hip operation, it took me months and months to get back to anywhere near my normal health and fitness - and I am about ten years younger than you! But you will get there, maybe not walking miles and miles every day, but I am sure you will get to a stage where you can do a longer walk a couple of times a week at least. Don't beat yourself up - Reuben is a happy, fulfilled boy and you do everything in your power to keep him so. The only thing I suppose I could suggest is that you do some searching games with him in the garden on occasions; I do it with my two in the garden about once a week and they love it! I swear it tires them out more than a two-hour walk. Big hugs to you, you are a brave and super woman. xx
 
Emily_Babbelhund

Emily_Babbelhund

Mama Red HOT Pepper
Location
Regensburg, Germany
He's happy. You know this, but you are understandably feeling down, which makes everything else look off-kilter. My personal weathervane is when I start thinking, "I should give Carbon to his fairy godmother now because his life with me is no good" then I know my depression has gotten ahold of me. I'm not saying you are depressed, only that we tend to pick at things that worry us when we are low. We love (and worry about) our dogs, so it's natural that we start picking that relationship apart in times of stress. Or it is for me...and maybe you too.

Dogs are imminently flexible. There is some standard thought that dogs don't like change or it stresses them out. I call BS on that. Dogs get used to incredibly varied lives and circumstances, and have done so for millennia. Reuben has gotten used to a varied routine now, where before it was more cut and dry. That's different, but not bad. Look at my Señor: last week we were out walking 4-6 hours a day, this week we've been lucky to get out 30 minutes. One day he's sitting in a hospital room with my dad for 10 hours, another I've got him shoved into crowds on narrow sidewalks in Florence. He just deals and is a happy little dude (despite his "Resting Face of Misery" 😂). Reuben's happy too, whether you get back to your previous level of walking or not. Or whether you walk him on your own feet or the scooter. He doesn't care about that kind of stuff.

For your own recovery, it is VERY early days yet. I know to you it seems forever, but you've had two major surgeries in the space of three months. You have no idea what you'll be capable of in six months or a year. I know you and have had ZERO doubts all along that you'll be walking jaw-dropping distances again. It's just you. Give yourself time and some kindness, my friend. ❤
 
Atemas

Atemas

UK Tour Guide
Location
North Cambridgeshire
kateincornwall said:
although it is early days , I cannot see me ever getting back to how things used to be . Reuben seems quite happy,
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You don’t know that @kateincornwall - as you say it’s early days - it is. You sound like you are ‘beating yourself up‘ unnecessarily. Clearly Reuben is fine from all the things you say. You did the very most important thing ages ago - making provision for him should a time come when circumstances were different. His time with Anna is a great success and the energy he uses up on those 2 days mean the other days can be quieter and more focussed on enrichment activities.

I do understand the guilt feeling of thinking you should be walking distances with your dog (I have clocked up over 50 miles this last week because of F not being able to walk) but I do think with you and me it’s mindset and you have to adjust that. Reuben now has a different routine to the one he had before when you could walk distances but it’s just as good for him. He will not be pining for his old routine - they don’t think like we do - they live in the moment and he’s a happy boy :hug:
 
Stacia

Stacia

Location
Malvern Worcestershire
Everyone has talked such sense @kateincornwall, I am sure you will get more fitness back but in the meantime, Reuben is very happy with his retrieving walks and being with his beloved Kate and Paul and Nellie. Rourke pulls me home and it is nothing to do with food as he doesn't get anything after his morning walk, he just loves his home as I am sure Reuben does as well. You give Reuben the opportunity to fulfil his breed's needs. I think you are just feeling down and rightly so after the two ops you have been through. But it is onwards and upwards now :sun:
 
Stacia

Stacia

Location
Malvern Worcestershire
kateincornwall said:
Thank you again xx I`ve been very weepy today , maybe delayed reaction to surgery or something like that and no doubt worrying for the blasted sake of it xxxx
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I think tears are a delayed reaction to surgery and you have had the upset of Debbie's little guinea pig. Just take it easy, have a nice glass of wine and all will eventually be well xxx
 
M

M.F.

We are a sensitive bunch who want nothing but the best for our dogs. I also worry if Snowie is living the best life possible. When I was a kid, our dogs just fended for themselves! Took themselves for walks (dogs were free to wander!) and brought their bowls to the TV lounge (where we were sitting) if they hadn’t been fed!!

I can understand how vulnerable you must be feeling after your ops. It’s still so early. You’ll build up strength, and who knows how long you’ll be able to walk! Might be even further than before!! Thinking of you xxx
 
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