Leaving pup alone

[Karen]

We are having problems leaving Cassie alone. It’s partly of our own making as it was so difficult to get her to sleep during the day that we ended up sitting very quietly near her as if we moved she woke up.
I just searched the forum for advice and found this quote from @Jen which sums up how we feel. I know we need to build it up slowly but this afternoon I tried going out for 1 minute while she had a kong…..she dropped the kong within 30 seconds.

Can you all just reassure me that this too will pass please!

I found this email in my inbox today when I was searching for something. I was so frantic he was going to have separation anxiety and was frantically trying to arrange for a trainer to come up.

My poor lad just needed some time to adjust to his new Little life - I wish I’d known then what I know now!

But it made me chuckle as I remember feeling so desperate ?

Hi,
I am looking for advice for my puppy. He's called Stanley and he's a black Labrador. We've had him 4 weeks now and he's 13 weeks old. He's a lovely puppy in most areas except that I think he might have seperation anxiety and I'm at a complete loss with what to do.
He has a crate that he seems to be ok with, he sleeps in there happily on a night and goes in through the day by himself if he's tired. If you shut the crate door he is ok, a little bit whiney but sits quietly enough (when he's awake, he's fine if you shut it when he's asleep).
We also have a baby gate on the kitchen door so he doesn't have to stay in his crate all the time and can have more room.
He's about 95% toilet trained now and we have very few accidents.
The problem is as soon as he is left alone he starts to cry and bark. I have tried clicking for quiet as some books detail and you can get up to a few minutes but then he really starts to cry. We try and ignore him but sometimes he's cried for 2 hours and we know by this point he will be likely to need the toilet. It's not just if you leave the house, it's if you go to the toilet or in the shower etc.
If we're in the living room and he's in the kitchen and he can see us through he baby gate he settles down and will play with his toys or go in his crate for a sleep, but if he can't see you he just howls. Or if he wakes up from a nap and you're not there when he wakes up he really starts to cry.
I really don't understand where we've gone wrong, we always wait for a little period of quiet before we go and attend to him.

We have a million toys which he loves until he's left alone, we've tried putting kongs in with him or chew sticks but he drops it as soon as you leave and picks it up as soon as you come back.

It's really getting us down and we're really panicking that the older it gets, the worse it will get and we want to correct it as soon as possible.

All advice seems to be to leave him to cry, but after an hour or so we're worried he'll need the toilet and go and it will undo our toilet training work.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[HAH]

We are having problems leaving Cassie alone. It’s partly of our own making as it was so difficult to get her to sleep during the day that we ended up sitting very quietly near her as if we moved she woke up.
I just searched the forum for advice and found this quote from @Jen which sums up how we feel. I know we need to build it up slowly but this afternoon I tried going out for 1 minute while she had a kong…..she dropped the kong within 30 seconds.

Can you all just reassure me that this too will pass please!

It really will pass! We had/sometimes still have similar challenges, and it can feel one step forward and 2 steps back. If it feels overwhelming, don’t overlook bringing in a trainer to help; sometimes it’s clear, simple instructions you need from someone outside who can show you how much progress you’re making.

 

[Lab_adore]

It really does pass! Maxx was incredibly clingy but slowly we increased the time away in another room and he was fine

 

[Atemas]

It will pass. Keep doing what you are doing. Red was like this at about the same age as Cassie. She actually seeks opportunities to be alone when she wants!

 

[Joy]

Several years ago I took a class on separation anxiety with the IMDT so some of their advice might be useful. (Of course this was geared towards adult dogs - your puppy is just showing normal puppy behaviour - but i think a few of the same strategies might help.) I think this was called the flitting strategy.

In this strategy the dog is not crated or confined in any way - it is free to follow you.
First make sure the dog has all its needs met - has been fed, toileted, exercised/played with. Then sit down in one room and do something that will appear to the dog as boring (read a book, flick through your phone etc).
When the dog appears settled get up casually walk to the next room - don't pay the dog any attention whether it follows you or not. Sit down in that room and do something boring for a couple of minutes, then get up and return to the first room. Repeat these steps multiple times. Eventually the dog will get fed up with following you and will remain in one room because they know you are coming back.

Once the dog is happy staying in one room while you are in another, then repeat these steps as above but go to a room further away - repeat multiple times.

There were further stages involving leaving the house that I can write out if you need them - but you get the gist.

I understand you may not want to do this with a puppy as you may not feel it's safe to leave it unconfined in a particular room. And Cassie will naturally become secure enough to be left with time.

 

[Karen]

Thank you all for your reassurance. It’s good to know that this is normal.

 

[Karen]

Several years ago I took a class on separation anxiety with the IMDT so some of their advice might be useful. (Of course this was geared towards adult dogs - your puppy is just showing normal puppy behaviour - but i think a few of the same strategies might help.) I think this was called the flitting strategy.

In this strategy the dog is not crated or confined in any way - it is free to follow you.
First make sure the dog has all its needs met - has been fed, toileted, exercised/played with. Then sit down in one room and do something that will appear to the dog as boring (read a book, flick through your phone etc).
When the dog appears settled get up casually walk to the next room - don't pay the dog any attention whether it follows you or not. Sit down in that room and do something boring for a couple of minutes, then get up and return to the first room. Repeat these steps multiple times. Eventually the dog will get fed up with following you and will remain in one room because they know you are coming back.

Once the dog is happy staying in one room while you are in another, then repeat these steps as above but go to a room further away - repeat multiple times.

There were further stages involving leaving the house that I can write out if you need them - but you get the gist.

I understand you may not want to do this with a puppy as you may not feel it's safe to leave it unconfined in a particular room. And Cassie will naturally become secure enough to be left with time.

Thank you for this @Joy - I will give it a try. I did have a tiny amount of success yesterday when I managed to stay in my office (off the kitchen) while she was in her pen in the kitchen for a little while. I will try the unconfined approach as well. I have been walking backwards and forwards through the kitchen to the utility room or office while she has been in her pen. She doesn’t sleep yet but it is keeping me fit!

 

[Cath]

I always gave Fred a toy that he only had when I went out. It was a ball with treats in that he had to push about.
It worked for him. This will pass before you know it Karen