Merlin barking when left alone in the evening

Merlin is fine if we go out during the day, but gets upset and barks barks barks if left alone in the evenings. He always has Poppy with him, and she is very chilled and has no issues with being left alone. Of course, we rarely do go out at present, so this hasn't been much of a problem recently, but it was brought home to us yesterday evening when we went out for a glass of wine at our neighbour's house, and came back to a clearly quite distraught Merlin. As we walked up the road we could hear him barking, and as we opened the door he was groaning, and had his hackles up, with his teddy in his mouth. He was very upset, poor boy.

I think I know when this started - it was the summer before last, when we left the dogs at home with a dog sitter and went on holiday. Unfortunately, I had told the dog sitter that Poppy and Merlin would be ok on their own in the house in the evening and night if necessary (for instance if he were going out for the evening), but that he should check on them. He did go out, the dogs barked all night, and the dog sitter did not come back until 05:00 - by which time my neighbours were furious, and the damage was done with Merlin as far as being left alone at night is concerned.

As I say, we don't go out without the dogs that much, if we go for a meal we tend to take them with us - and of course for the last year this has been hardly possible anyway. But it clearly is a problem, and once lockdown is over, we will want to be able to go out sometimes without the dogs.

I and OH have talked about how to deal with this, and our plan of action is to go right back to basics, like crate training a puppy (which I must add, DID NOT WORK with Merlin at all... which doesn't bode well). We will go out for a couple of minutes each evening, literally just a minute the first night, two the second night, and so on. We will leave before it is quite dark, leaving a radio and lights on, say 'goodbye, we'll be right back', and come back BEFORE he starts barking, and just build it up from there. We are considering moving him and Poppy downstairs to our bedroom (upside down house, with our bedroom on the lower floor opening out onto the garden), so he is away from the front door and any noises in the street that might make him start to bark and also away from connotations of being left alone in the hallway waiting by the front door. They both love our bedroom, as it is a special treat for them to come into bed with us on weekend mornings.

Do you have any other suggestions? It really would be great if we could crack this, otherwise we are always going to need a dog sitter any time we want to go out in the evenings, as I don't want to upset my very nice neighbours and I can't have poor Merly distraught either.
 
Good to go back to basics. Could you leave them in your bedroom with a kong for good association? I watched a dog training programme dealing with exactly this problem and he said never say "goodbye" just go about your routine, give the kong and leave, same when you return. Come home hang your coat up, keys down wait for a minute or so then greet your dogs. I wish you luck. xx
 

Lisa

Moderator
Location
Alberta, Canada
I have heard the same thing in terms of no fussing when leaving including using a trigger word like “goodbye”...which is awfully difficult! You could try going through the same routine you plan to use when leaving the house in terms of what you have outlined here but just going to a different area of the house ie not actually “leaving” at first, and build that up before trying going out the front door.
 
Poor guy! licking is meant to help anxiety, so maybe as you build time leave him with a lickit mat - he may still be working on it when you first start. If there is any noise triggering him, maybe some low music or the TV on could help block that. Just before the pandemic I was working on separation anxiety with Quinn and I took a course. They said to never leave them fully while you are building time, as it will cause set backs so this is a good time to start when there is nowhere to go! Also, no over the top greeting when you return.
 

Joy

Location
East Sussex
I did a short course on separation anxiety with the IMDT. Essentially it was (as you already are planning to do) to build up your absence in very short increments - seconds if necessary. A couple of other things from that course may be relevant to you.
One was to provide a visual cue to the dog that you are going - so that they are not constantly on edge wondering if you are going to leave - for example have a particular tea towel that you hang in a certain place and make sure the dog takes note of it before you leave, and then as soon as you get back, put it away.
The course emphasised having a leaving routine so the dog understands what is happening, but not to make it too protracted.
Another was to ensure as far as possible that nothing will happen while you are gone that the dog would find scary/alarming but would cope with if you were there.
Another point was the calming effect of food and especially searching for it - though I personally have some reservations about leaving dogs with food.
I'll see if I can find my notes in case there was anything else relevant.
 
Malena Demartini Price is the guru of separation anxiety and her book is worth a read, but you’re a great dog trainer with a fabulous understanding, so none of it will be rocket science.
My advice would be try what you have planned out and see how it goes. If it works easily, problem solved. If not, then pick your battle. When we are in Andorrà, we never leave the dogs unattended, because they’re not used to it there and the noises of apartment living can trigger barking. It’s such an relatively uncommon occurrence for us to go out, and with working long hours, it makes no sense to interrupt my work to practice leaving them... I need to work!
So when we go out, even if just to go shopping, we get a sitter. It’s what I would do if I had a child, so I don’t see it as a bother.
 
Thank you everyone for your input! I'll let you know how it goes. And yes @snowbunny, that's how I feel about it too - we are going to work on it, but if it turns out to be a huge issue, then we will just revert to have a sitter for when we go out in the evenings.

It is interesting though, because Poppy has never shown the slightest worry about us being away in the evenings, neither did my other dogs, so it never occurred to me that Merlin would be disturbed by it. But looking back to his puppyhood I can see that he had separation issues from a very early age. He was happy to go in his crate in the evenings and would sleep for six hours, but then would wake up at around 4:00 am and want company from then on. He'd fall back asleep, but wake up again 30 minutes later crying. This would carry on for the rest of the night. We tried to deal with this for around five or six weeks, with all of us getting more exhausted by the day, until I finally gave up and just put his bed outside the crate with Poppy - he then slept happily through the night without a peep. So perhaps he is just more prone to feeling anxious when alone, at least at night.
 
We went out for about three hours last night, and all was good! We've been practicing over the past several weeks, but this was the first time we were actually properly out having a drink with friends (you are allowed to do that here, btw, no illegal meet ups!). We left the television on, told the dogs we'd be back shortly, and left them with a pig's ear each. We took the dog monitor, so we could see that while Merlin slept some of the time, he also spent quite a lot of time sitting staring at the door, which was a bit sad... But the good news is, he barked once or twice when someone passed by, but was able to settle down again, instead of getting himself into a tizzy. We were so pleased, and it was great to walk home and not hear him barking as we approached, until we actually opened the gate to the garden. Good lad Merlin, I know we haven't cracked this for ever, and it might be trickier in the summer when there are more people outside and thus more disturbances, but at least we know it is possible to go out for a drink or quick meal once in a while!
 

Boogie

Moderator
Location
Manchester UK
We went out for about three hours last night, and all was good! We've been practicing over the past several weeks, but this was the first time we were actually properly out having a drink with friends (you are allowed to do that here, btw, no illegal meet ups!). We left the television on, told the dogs we'd be back shortly, and left them with a pig's ear each. We took the dog monitor, so we could see that while Merlin slept some of the time, he also spent quite a lot of time sitting staring at the door, which was a bit sad... But the good news is, he barked once or twice when someone passed by, but was able to settle down again, instead of getting himself into a tizzy. We were so pleased, and it was great to walk home and not hear him barking as we approached, until we actually opened the gate to the garden. Good lad Merlin, I know we haven't cracked this for ever, and it might be trickier in the summer when there are more people outside and thus more disturbances, but at least we know it is possible to go out for a drink or quick meal once in a while!
Excellent!

How about closing the curtains when you are out? 🤔
 
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