Not the best day……

[Atemas]

……for Red today. We had a few people here today and the Irish Water Spaniel who came last year. Last year, the dog was resource guarding the Kong I gave her and snapped at Red frightening her. This year she is resource guarding her owners and it was not good. Poor Red was very scared of her. Later in the afternoon, we were in the garden one of the owners went to stroke Red and the spaniel (who is a big dog) flew at Red, snapping and barking. It was not nice to see. Red shot indoors where I left her for a bit. Bless her, she appeared in the garden as it was approaching tea time for her. The other owner was coming out the house too and the spaniel went nuts when she saw her owner get near Red. By that time, they had her on lead. It was embarrassing as they had tried to underplay her behaviour which I didn’t like. Fortunately, they took their dog to the car where she stayed until they left quite a while later. We really like these people and only see them once a year but I hope next year they will come without her. It’s just not fair on Red especially in her own home. After they had put their dog in the car, they admitted they had found having her very difficult. Also talking to others who had one from the same litter, they have all had big issues.

 

[kateincornwall]

Poor Red , such a gentle girls , this must have upset her greatly . I am sorry to read this Alison and hope the spaniel is left at home in future xx

 

[Candy]

Oh poor, poor Red! She is such a sweet and gentle girl, very like Joy in that way, and Joy would also have been very upset at such behaviour from another dog. It puts you in a difficult position too. I do hope the Spaniel doesn't visit again.

 

[HAH]

Oh you poor thing Alison, and particularly poor Red. What’s done is done, I’m sure you’ll make sure Red has lots of decompression time and a few chilled days to help her get over this. It’s really disappointing your friends weren’t honest about their dog’s behaviour as it has consequences - hopefully not lasting for Red, but if that’s the case it’ll be more by luck than design. I’d be angry about that.

 

[Lab_adore]

That is terrible Alison. You are well within your rights to protect Red and ask them to leave the dog at home next time

 

[Atemas]

Thank you for your kind words. I lay awake last night replaying what happened. Red was pinned down by their dog . She is a gentle soul and so didn’t deserve this. We took her for a short walk yesterday when everyone had gone and played chase with her which she loved. She’s lying on my feet as I type this. It’s going to be a tricky one next year but I’m hoping they will make that decision themselves not to bring her. Their friendship is very important but the welfare of Red is more important

 

[Cath]

Poor Red in her own home. She is such a good girl

 

[MellowYellow]

How horrible. Honestly, if their friendship is worth so much they must realize this simply is not acceptable. Poor Red.

 

[Joy]

What a nasty experience for both Red and you. I hope she can shake it off. xx

 

[Granca]

Red was pinned down by their dog .

That’s terrible! Poor Red. I’m surprised your friends weren’t more proactive in keeping their dog under control. It must have been very embarrassing and upsetting for everyone. I’m so sorry it spoilt your day.

 

[Atemas]

I’m surprised your friends weren’t more proactive in keeping their dog under control. It must have been very embarrassing and upsetting for everyone.

Yes. I think from what they were finally saying they were acknowledging that their dog has worrying problems. I used the words ‘resource guarding’. In all other respects it was a lovely day but marred by that. I think they have a big problem. they don’t want to bring her next time, so we don’t have to say they can’t bring her. Sometimes people try to justify something that’s wrong to try and make it ok in their own minds. Think the penny dropped yesterday

 

[HAH]

This is really tough Alison, I’m sure you’ll come to the right decision for you and Red. For what it’s worth, I think the best friendships need to be honest and it saves you an awful lot of stress and brain energy, so I’d be up front with them about next year and what your expectations are. It’s likely this would be a relief to them too.

 

[Atemas]

I’d be up front with them about next year and what your expectations are

i posted just a second before yours @HAH - yes you’re right

 

[Stacia]

Your friends must be mortified and now worried stiff. I think they should see a behaviourist about the guarding issues, otherwise the dog will be ruling them and is already a dangerous dog. I do feel for them as I am sure they did not want this to happen and are probably feeling deeply depressed about their dog. Well I hope they are as it is a real issue they must deal with.

 

[Atemas]

Well I hope they are as it is a real issue they must deal with.

Yes I hope they are and I can see the dog is already ruling them

 

[M.F.]

So sorry this happened to Red, and in her own garden.

I have a friend with a similar situation. Not so much resource guarding, but just an aggressive dog. He’s a miniature schnauzer with a big attitude. And he always goes for Snowie. He can’t do any major physical damage, but it’s so unpleasant, and Snowie is such a kind dog who loves having other dogs in his house and is happy to share all his things.

A confounding issue is that another friend’s dog and the schnauzer get on very well. The other friend’s dog (a very small fluffy dog!) will not put up with nonsense, and she has made this clear with the schnauzer. So he behaves himself with her.

My friend is in denial with her dog and makes up excuses. Although everyone knows it’s her dog, but I guess we’re all too polite to say anything. And I don’t want to hurt her feelings and risk the friendship. She did recently neuter him, which I think she was hoping would change his behaviour, because they moved house, and she’s had problems with him at the nearby park. So I do believe she knows there is a problem, but doesn’t want to admit it.

We hadn’t invited them over in years because of this issue. But we had them for dinner a few weeks ago. And I was shocked when she asked if her dog could come. He has separation anxiety and can’t stay at home. At least she did say if he couldn’t come, she’d drop him off at her sister’s. I tried to find the least triggering words to use. I said: “I feel bad saying don’t bring him, but I’m worried about the dynamic. I think safer to take him to your sister’s. Perhaps we can test them out together another time soon to see for future. I’d love for them to be able to be together.”

Best of luck for next year and hopefully they’ll have sought help for their dog.

 

[Naya]

Poor Red. I hope she’s feeling a bit more relaxed today x

 

[Loraseal]

Sorry to hear that poor Red didn't have the best day. Being truthful to real friends can be very stressful. I am guessing that your friends feel really bad about what happened. I do hope they get help with their Spaniel. His is Red today? Is she relaxed again and enjoying your beautiful garden? X

 

[Atemas]

I’m worried about the dynamic

What an excellent reply - I must remember that. Well done for managing it so well.

Poor Red. I hope she’s feeling a bit more relaxed today

Is she relaxed again and enjoying your beautiful garden?

She’s been very quiet - although she normally is very quiet so I’m probably reading my own worries into it. She’s been out in the garden but she’s taken to going under the desk in the study - she’s there now on her own. We took the carpet up the other day as we will have new flooring when the plastering and painting’s been done, so she laying on bare concrete!!

We had a lovely thank you message for the food etc but no mention re their dog. It’s such a shame they got a dog like that - they are planning on getting a campervan like ours and I’d love to do some joint adventures but that’s not going to happen

 

[M.F.]

What an excellent reply - I must remember that. Well done for managing it so well.

Argh I get annoyed with myself for not being direct and saying “I’m worried your dog will attack Snowie.” Instead, by saying “the dynamic”, I feel I’m sharing blame on Snowie and I get annoyed with myself. And he’s so NOT part of it at all. In fact, he doesn’t even respond, just backs away. He’s also too polite!

When the dog is by himself, he’s the sweetest thing. Very good with people. But not with dogs.