Run free Nelly

Emily_Babbelhund

Emily_Babbelhund

Mama Red HOT Pepper
Location
Regensburg, Germany
Selina27 said:
Really good to know @Emily_Babbelhund is in Cornwall at this difficult time for you @kateincornwall xx
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That’s kind of you to say, but really it’s all Carbón. ❤ Reuben ran around like a loon when we got there and then did the most playing together indoors that they’d done so far this year. It’s like Carbón knew he had to get off the sofa at least a little bit and help his friend!

It was so strange not seeing Nelly during our last visit. I’ve never known Kate without Nelly. When I first met her, Sam was still alive…and Nelly was there too. Then Reuben came…and Nelly was there too. Kate and Paul (and Reuben) are being very brave, but there’s a huge hole in the house left by a very small dog.
 
kateincornwall

kateincornwall

Location
Cornwall , UK
Oh dear friends , I am struggling terribly , more so than with any of my late dogs , probably because Nelly was so vulnerable but also brave and stoic . I still believe that it was the NSAI that caused the awful bleeding internally and this brings a massive weight of guilt because I gave it to her . Poor Reuben has been unwell with a really upset tummy , the Vet could find no obvious cause but its likely due to stress as he is missing his little friend so much . Poor lad , he looks for her every morning and then at times throughout the day but I think he is a little happier today and his tummy has settled . Honestly , all the years volunteering for the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service but now , all my support to hundreds of others, is worthless for me . Sorry , but I just needed to write down how I am feeling , I know that we have to learn to live without our little darling but oh my goodness , she is always on my mind xxxx
 
HAH

HAH

Moderator
Location
Devon, UK
kateincornwall said:
Oh dear friends , I am struggling terribly , more so than with any of my late dogs , probably because Nelly was so vulnerable but also brave and stoic . I still believe that it was the NSAI that caused the awful bleeding internally and this brings a massive weight of guilt because I gave it to her . Poor Reuben has been unwell with a really upset tummy , the Vet could find no obvious cause but its likely due to stress as he is missing his little friend so much . Poor lad , he looks for her every morning and then at times throughout the day but I think he is a little happier today and his tummy has settled . Honestly , all the years volunteering for the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service but now , all my support to hundreds of others, is worthless for me . Sorry , but I just needed to write down how I am feeling , I know that we have to learn to live without our little darling but oh my goodness , she is always on my mind xxxx
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This is grief Kate, and you don’t need to feel like you would experience it any less keenly because you helped others for so long with the Blue Cross Support Service. I’m so sorry you’re struggling - give yourself grace, it’s very early days. Have you thought about calling the support service yourself? They might be helpful? And we’re always here, whatever you’d like to share xxxxx
 
Stacia

Stacia

Location
Malvern Worcestershire
Please, please Kate you have nothing to feel guilty about, but I do empathise with how you are feeling. Nelly was the dearest little dog and you gave her the best life any little dog could have. Parting from her is grievous, so much pain of loss. But you have no need to feel guilty, I am sure we would all have done the same and given our dogs painkillers, the vet obviously didn't think there would be a problem and maybe it was nothing to do with the medication. :hug:
 
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kateincornwall

kateincornwall

Location
Cornwall , UK
Thank you all , you are such a support and I do appreciate this so much . I think I might be being too hard on myself , expecting to cope more than I am doing . Reuben has to be our priority now , he has just come home from a happy day at playgroup , he is having lots of cuddles and honestly , he is my sanity saver because he needs us even more than ever now . Thank you again xxx
 
Candy

Candy

Biscuit Tin Guardian
Location
West Yorkshire, UK
Guilt can often be part of grief, Kate, as I'm sure you're aware. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. You gave Nelly the best possible life and she knew she was loved very much. Reuben will also adapt, over time, and you have so very many happy memories of your little superstar.
Sending love and lots of :hug: :hug::hug:xxx
 
M

M.F.

I’m so sorry. And I totally understand. I share the same guilt feelings. I guess we did so much that we always feel it was never enough. And we should have known what not to do. But we aren’t vets. And we only try our best. It’s good that you can express it all here safely. You really did more than most people would’ve done. You really have nothing to feel guilty about. Sending much love xxx
 
Granca

Granca

I’m so sorry, Kate. Sadly, coping with grief can also result in feeling guilty - but do try not to dwell on the ‘what ifs‘ but remember the happy times. Nelly was so lucky to find you and you transformed her life. Reuben is so lucky to have you too. :hug:
 
kateincornwall

kateincornwall

Location
Cornwall , UK
Thank you again , for your kind supportive words . The other evening when we were settled and watching a programme , Paul suddenly asked me , where is Nelly, is she on the sofa with you ? Honestly, it floored me because just in that moment, he had forgotten that our little darling had gone . Its things like this that make it all worse . I know that Nelly had a wonderful life with us, holidays, beach play , forest walks , good food and love abounding and this is what I must try to remind myself of , she could not have been more adored xx
 
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