The guilt of knowledge

Shaz82

Shaz82

Location
Essex, U.K.
I was told the other day by a behaviourist that letting Maisy sleep on our bed might affect her recall and obedience, something to do with her social place in our pack. I don't agree with this as I know lots of dogs do and are very obedient. I suppose it depends on the dog, I don't really know to be honest. But what I was thinking at the tme was - I will let Maisy choose where she sleeps, sometimes she settles on the bed with us and if she wants our company I will not punish her by turning her away. It might be wrong in 'professional' eyes but not in ours. There are probably lots of things we dont do properly but they are right for us and I never feel guilty because it suits our life together.
 
M

MaccieD

Shaz82 said:
I was told the other day by a behaviourist that letting Maisy sleep on our bed might affect her recall and obedience, something to do with her social place in our pack
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Please totally ignore this 'behaviourist' - this is absolute nonsense and verges on old fashioned dominance theories. If you want Maisy to sleep on the bed it is absolutely fine, same as if you don't allow her to - it's personal choice. It certainly won't make any difference to recall or obedience.
 
Charlie

Charlie

Location
Argyll & Bute, Scotland
Now that's what I call an article, thanks Jen for posting. I am always saying "what did dogs do before all the sports/training was on offer or the endless goods that we can buy" I bet there isn't one person on this forum that doesn't feel this way. I have and still do spend a of time feeling guilty over my dogs. Are they fulfilled, trained enough, I know they are loved enough but really they have a great home, food, love, a safe place it be, lovely country walks, play, training and we all do the best we can within our capabilities. I gave up a long time ago thinking that I HAD to take my dogs to training when infact it wasn't the right environment for Charlie at all so I quit and do it myself which I do find fulfilling. Whatever we do is better than nothing :) Stop the guilt! xxx
 
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Jennifer

Jennifer

I like Denise Fenzi. She is a positive trainer who isn't afraid to admit she's human and not afraid to tell people it's ok to be human. I feel some 'positive only' trainers give the impression of perfection which puts pressure on those of us trying to do our best. It's good to aspire to be positive only but realistically it's a very hard goal to achieve. Being realistic in our training goals is important so we don't feel the guilt and the failure quite so much.:)

The Perfect Trainer! | Denise Fenzi's Blog

No. Don't do that. | Denise Fenzi's Blog

You Screwed up. Big Time | Denise Fenzi's Blog
 
Shaz82

Shaz82

Location
Essex, U.K.
Jennifer said:
Rosemary beat me to it @MaccieD . I was about to say the same thing. I'm surprised @Shaz82 your behaviourist has told you having Maisy on the bed will affect her social place in your pack. It won't.
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It's not my behaviourist, we don't use one, just someone I was talking to. I just used that example to show that you should live your own way and do what you want without feeling guilt, if it works for you and everyone/dog is happy then it's the right thing to do. In my opinion anyway.
 
Boogie

Boogie

Moderator
Location
Manchester UK
I’m quite good at avoiding guilt. I don’t get it about the dogs because I do what I believe is best and constantly try to be better.

In life, age has helped me not to feel guilt at the drop of a hat. I’m a Church goer and guilt is a trick they use a lot so, as a consequence, I’ve learned to ignore it :p

Why do I still go? All my friends are there and it’s a great environment for puppy training! The puppy is a ready made excuse for wandering out when what they are saying is really testing my patience.

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Charlie

Charlie

Location
Argyll & Bute, Scotland
Boogie said:
I’m a Church goer and guilt is a trick they use a lot so, as a consequence, I’ve learned to ignore it :p
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I was brought up a Catholic but I chose to 'opt' out when I was older as the whole religion is built on guilt which is why I feel guilty over just about everything and I mean everything which causes me a lot of stress. I still haven't managed not to feel guilt, how did you achieve that Mags? x
 
Boogie

Boogie

Moderator
Location
Manchester UK
Charlie said:
I was brought up a Catholic but I chose to 'opt' out when I was older as the whole religion is built on guilt which is why I feel guilty over just about everything and I mean everything which causes me a lot of stress. I still haven't managed not to feel guilt, how did you achieve that Mags? x
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I talk to myself. If guilt tries to make an appearance I tell it where to go :)

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Jennifer

Jennifer

I'm a born pessimist but it means I'm never disappointed ;) I worry about ridiculous things. For example I've just got a packet of Glandex wipes for Scott's bottom issues and now I'm worrying if they might make him ill if he licks after I've used them.:eek: Seriously though something made to wipe a dog's bum and can be used on paws isn't going to do any harm if licked is it ?:oops: It says non toxic. And I've always been convinced that I got my sisters share of the guilt gene as well as my own. I don't think she's ever felt guilty about anything. That's little sisters for you.:LOL:
 
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