Introvert or extrovert?

[snowbunny]

Just something I was wondering. I consider myself to be naturally introverted; I do put myself into situations where I have to fight that (instructing kickboxing, teaching snow sports etc), but, although I have developed the skills to be a sociable person, I do find it drains my energy. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I really do, but it can also be exhausting. I rarely feel lonely in my own company.

I'm interested to hear your answers, as I have a idea of who here I would consider is naturally one way or the other, but I won't be surprised to hear I've got it completely wrong

 

[HAH]

Just something I was wondering. I consider myself to be naturally introverted; I do put myself into situations where I have to fight that (instructing kickboxing, teaching snow sports etc), but, although I have developed the skills to be a sociable person, I do find it drains my energy. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I really do, but it can also be exhausting. I rarely feel lonely in my own company.

I'm interested to hear your answers, as I have a idea of who here I would consider is naturally one way or the other, but I won't be surprised to hear I've got it completely wrong

I’m very similar to you in that I find social company - and particularly those situations you don’t necessarily ‘choose’ the company, like the workplace or a party - quite draining. I can force myself to be quite gregarious, but I get strength from quiet and solitude, although it’s not a hard and fast rule and I recognise I need a mix.

The whole concept of introversion and extroversion is fascinating, in that it was originally developed by Carl Jung Extraversion and introversion - Wikipedia to describe people’s general focus in life being on their interior world (introverted) or the outside world (extroverted). The idea was that this may well change over time and state, and that people could exist in both states at one time. This was quickly appropriated by wider psychological discussion to refer to people’s behaviour and placed on a continuum, so the more ‘extrovert’ you are, the less ‘introvert’ you are. This has followed through into personality assessment and things like the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator, but I find the original idea far more useful - and my sense is that behavioural psychology is moving back to this approach.
Sorry, full-scale whittering mode there!

 

[Oberon]

Can I choose a third option of rejecting type/category based models of personality?

 

[M.F.]

Can I choose a third option of rejecting type/category based models of personality?

‎Hidden Brain: The Sorting Hat on Apple Podcasts

What Can A Personality Test Tell Us About Who We Are?

 

[M.F.]

While I detest personality tests for being shallow, I do find the extrovert/introvert categorization per the original Jung definition to be very useful. I am an extrovert. Just like my dog. I love being with people, and feel my experiences are only worthwhile when they include people that mean something to me. Yet, I spend my working life barely speaking a word, stuck at a computer screen. A weekend well lived is one that had dinner parties and tea parties and walks with friends and family, back to back. Which happens all too infrequently because my husband is an introvert and finds too many social interactions extremely draining, and most of my family and close friends live in other countries. I find this very challenging emotionally.

 

[Jen]

I’m probably a bit of a mixture.

I love being social and have a large group of friends who I see regularly.

But if I have to be the centre of attention - so do a presentation or a speech or something I hate it and would much rather fade into the background.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

I definitely don't need a personality test: I'm 100% introvert. That doesn't mean that I don't need to be around people, but I do need to go back to my own little hidey-hole at the end of the day because social interaction tires out my mind. I used to be able to fake it better when I was young, but now that I'm out of practice I really struggle with groups of more than three people (including myself). More than that and I just shut down, stop talking and do a lot of nodding to look interested but mainly inside I feel like a freak because I'd honestly rather be anywhere else, even if the group is made up of individual people I really like.

I've consistently chosen partners and dogs who are extroverts, as I get enough social interaction to satisfy me just being in their orbit. I often say that Brogan was George Clooney and I was his personal assistant and that's the way I liked it. Carbon is not quite to that level of fan adoration yet, but he's also very people-focused and I'm back to getting my daily dose of social just from the superficial interactions with people we meet on walks.

Don't get me wrong, the close friends I do have I value very highly and will happily talk with them for hours at a shot. But a party? I'd rather have a filing done at the dentist. No joke.

 

[MellowYellow]

I’m an introvert - I like seeing people and love my large, mad and extended family, but find parties or social gatherings outside of my tight-knit ‘friends and family’ group hard work... My husband is an absolute classic extrovert and social butterfly. We’re not at all compatible, really!!

 

[Aitch]

Introvert all the way. I am happy with my dogs and OH but I really don't enjoy social obligations and would always rather be at home. Social interactions are a chore.

 

[Emily]

I really don't know. In so many ways I consider myself to be an introvert but I think I have a tendency to exhibit the behaviour of an extrovert.

Perhaps I'm just an introvert that's good at faking it

 

[kateincornwall]

Another Introvert here . I am happy with my own company or just me and the dogs . I chose friends carefully , maybe coming over a little stand offish at times , but if you are a friend , I will move heaven and earth to help you . I loather social gatherings , I`m the one slyly looking at my watch to decided if its acceptable to leave xx Paul is 100% Extrovert x

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Perhaps I'm just an introvert that's good at faking it

A lot of us are!

Paul is 100% Extrovert x

Not a surprise there.

 

[Jacqui-S]

Total introvert.
Hate social situations.
Though I do have a "work persona" which is a bit more extrovert with some learned leadership skills blah de blah, but that's not really me.

 

[edzbird]

Massive introvert. I flounder in social situations, I struggle to talk to people, any people. I have forced myself into a job where I HAVE to talk to people, but I can't do small talk. I am happiest on my own with my dog(s) or cat(s) to talk to.

Work is difficult currently - I work until 6 and the other lady I worked with has left, she has been replaced by 2 new people. The periods of silence, which could be filled with chat are excruciating but I can't break them! I'm willing the phone to ring. It'll get better with time.

 

[Candy]

Bit of both.Love spending time with friends and family, get lonely if I don't have a conversation with someone all day, hated and actively avoided work 'do s', don't mind public speaking as long as I know what I'm talking about, like to get home to 'just us' in the evening. My job involved non stop interaction with people and whilst I enjoyed it, I often didn't want to have to be sociable in the evenings and it's a relief to not be interacting with people to such an extent now I've retired.

 

[Atemas]

Basically I am an introvert although I had a career that meant I needed to be another persona entirely. Retirement was good for me as it meant I could just be myself. I tend to be very quiet in social situations at least initially and I am always happy to come away as I find them tiring. I make new friendships slowly but the friends I have I am very loyal to and will always be there for them and they know that. I do like chatting in informal situations with people but am also content to spending time quietly. DH is probably perceived as being extrovert because he is funny and has a very spontaneous wit but we are very happy just being at home together so long as we see our large family regularly

 

[Shaz82]

But a party? I'd rather have a filing done at the dentist. No joke.

Exactly this, I have never felt comfortable at small social gatherings where you are expected to make small talk with strangers.
Also I am rubbish at it (small talk) and dreadful at faking interest in other people's lives.
I used to be more of a social animal but nowadays send my OH to the party so I can snuggle in with the dog.

On the other hand, like @Jacqui-S I have a work persona, I meet the public all day and in my work situation I really like it, small talk but fleeting and nice to be friendly with lots of people. Even better to get home though and when OH is out I really enjoy my own company and doing my own thing. I also tend to strike up conversations with dog walkers and am happy to pass comment with people in the street or on the train, I am not shy about that at all so I consider myself to be a 'mixture'.
And although I am not a party person now I do like a big show, probably as you are lost in the crowd and can be totally inconspicuous.

 

[kateincornwall]

When we had our hotel/pub/restaurant , Paul loved being Front of House , it suited him down to the ground , whereas I was far happier in the kitchen doing all the cooking . On the very odd occasion that I had to go out front , it was like being on stage for me, playing a part but longing to get back in the wings ! x

 

[Anne123]

I am a extrovert person. I make easily contact with people, even the ones I don’t know. Like to chat to others, greetings in the mornings etc. I don’t like being in a crowd though, does that make me introverted too...? I hate markets, large get togethers. I avoid them

 

[Boogie]

I’m very much both. My default is extravert, I’m a party animal. But I need time alone every day to recharge.