Introvert or extrovert?

[M.F.]

It’s interesting reading how so many dislike interacting with work colleagues, making small talk. Or avoid speaking to strangers. I wonder if there’s a difference between being shy and being introvert. I’m shy—terrified of having to chat to colleagues I might know vaguely when at a work function. But I must must must see my friends and family in order to feel energized. And I do absolutely love meeting like-minded people who might be strangers at first—so yes! to an invite to a friend for tea who has invited her friends that I’ve not met before. And while I’m happy to chat to fellow dog walkers in the park, if they aren’t like-minded and if a friendship does not blossom, I feel rather down spending my time with them every day instead of with people who mean something to me. Hence, why I do think these kinds of labels are useful, but can also be quite shallow and misleading.

 

[Jacqui-S]

At this point I think the Gin Dog event next year is going to be interesting.
Would love to be a fly on the wall. Rather than actually being there!

 

[Candy]

 

[Rosie]

I’m shy—terrified of having to chat to colleagues I might know vaguely when at a work function. But I must must must see my friends and family in order to feel energized.

I heard an explanation of introvert / extrovert that made huge sense to me. I don't know if it has any scientific validity, but I liked it: An introvert is not necessarily someone who wants to be alone, and an extrovert not necessarily someone who wants to be in company. Instead, it is about what "recharges your batteries". Some people feel energized, refreshed, recharged after spending time with people. Some people feel tired, worn out; their batteries are recharged by silence, solitude, being with themselves. It isn't really about whether you "enjoy" company or not, it's about the effect it has on you.

Personally, I spend a lot of my (work) time with people - running workshops, doing board meetings, giving presentations; and I am told that I'm seen as a life-and-soul-of-the-party type when I go to parties - and I enjoy being that! But interacting leaves me absolutely exhausted...I need to go home and pull up the drawbridge and take days to recover.

On that basis I am absolutely an introvert - an extreme introvert! But I still enjoy being with people (on a limited basis) and I can perform well in public and in groups and parties. And @M.F. , it would suggest you are an extrovert, even if you are shy.

 

[Ashley]

I always find it tough to say which I am...I love being social - parties, events, after work things, chatting with people etc and I'm an open and fairly loud person and I get bored when we aren't doing much socially. I'm not shy. However, I love my alone time...meaning being with only myself and I rarely feel lonely. I prefer to shop, run errands, go walking and do most thing on my own, where I have friends that like/need to have someone with them to do anything. I find as I get older, I lean more toward introvert, where I was definitely more of an extrovert when I was younger.

 

[snowbunny]

I heard an explanation of introvert / extrovert that made huge sense to me. I don't know if it has any scientific validity, but I liked it: An introvert is not necessarily someone who wants to be alone, and an extrovert not necessarily someone who wants to be in company. Instead, it is about what "recharges your batteries". Some people feel energized, refreshed, recharged after spending time with people. Some people feel tired, worn out; their batteries are recharged by silence, solitude, being with themselves. It isn't really about whether you "enjoy" company or not, it's about the effect it has on you.

This is what I think of. It's just a label and, as Rachael suggests, isn't necessarily a valid way of categorising people, so I don't think it has to be very scientific
I am perfectly capable of being sociable and having a good time doing so, but it wipes me out.

At this point I think the Gin Dog event next year is going to be interesting.
Would love to be a fly on the wall. Rather than actually being there!

Ah, it'll be great. The good thing about this sort of thing is that there's a very, very easy topic of conversation, which certainly helps!

Also, I'm hilarious when I'm drunk. In a "laughing AT me" sort of way, rather than "laughing WITH me"

 

[Lisa]

Introvert all the way here, although like many of you I’ve learned to cope in the outside world. I don’t like large get-togethers with people I don’t know , but I’ve had to learn to manage with those too, as my husband’s job requires that we go to lots of those. I find I can manage for a couple of hours but after that I’m desperate to leave. Unfortunately OH is one of those who is inevitably the last person leaving and helping to clean up

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

While I'm a total introvert, I have zero problem making small talk with strangers (one to one) and often strike up conversations with random people while out with the dog. I've noticed it's something that is a bit baffling to the average Brit. It's not so much part of the culture here. However it's completely normal other places. Italy in particular is the land of having a 30 minute conversation with someone you don't know and will never see again.

I guess my point is that you can be the opposite of shy and still an introvert.

 

[Jen]

Also, I'm hilarious when I'm drunk. In a "laughing AT me" sort of way, rather than "laughing WITH me"

Drunk me is definitely the best me!

 

[Jacqui-S]

In public I guess its finding common interests that oil the wheels of sociability. I find my interests and knowledge have narrowed as I get older.medicine *tick* dogs *tick * outside of that I struggle.
Medicine is normally off the list, so that leaves dogs.
I have sort of promised myself i will do something once I retire. Take a course, join a club...something crafty? ....just something to keep my brain ticking.

 

[M.F.]

And @M.F. , it would suggest you are an extrovert, even if you are shy.

Lovely explanation.

And oh, yes, absolutely! Per my original post. Looks like I’m the only person who voted extrovert!

 

[Candy]

This is what I think of. It's just a label and, as Rachael suggests, isn't necessarily a valid way of categorising people, so I don't think it has to be very scientific
I am perfectly capable of being sociable and having a good time doing so, but it wipes me out.



Ah, it'll be great. The good thing about this sort of thing is that there's a very, very easy topic of conversation, which certainly helps!

Also, I'm hilarious when I'm drunk. In a "laughing AT me" sort of way, rather than "laughing WITH me"

We're not going to be getting drunk are we?

 

[snowbunny]

We're not going to be getting drunk are we?

Nooooooo. Not one little bit.

Not on UK measures at UK prices, anyway

* definitely bringing some gin with me!

 

[Candy]

I might smuggle in a little something!

 

[Joy]

So interesting to see how people categorise themselves - I've been imagining almost all of you as extrovert, life-and-soul-of-the-party types.
I'd also say I'm introverted. When I worked as a teacher I was very confident in giving presentations to large groups of parents or colleagues but I don't feel at ease in party-type situations ( perhaps I really need to master gin consumption ). I spend a lot of time reading fiction and making up stories, which I occasionally put on paper, and feel very tired after attending events like the training courses I went on at the weekend.

 

[Naya]

Most people would categorise me as an extrovert, (I’m sure a few of you would too), but they probably don’t know me that well. At work I’m am very much the extrovert as I need to be, especially when doing presentations at conferences or attending high levels meetings. I am very much the ‘loud, confident’ one in work. I much prefer staying at home with Harley, or walking her and not seeing anyone. I have some very good ‘dog walking’ friends and I love meeting up with everyone, but also like going home to a quiet house. My OH works away a lot and I have some friends who used to always try and come over when he’s away ‘to keep me company’, but I have had to be quite blunt and say I just want some ‘me’ time, especially as my job mentally exhausts me with having to deal with so many people with so many needs every day.

 

[MrChew]

In terms of "what recharges my batteries" definitely introvert. When I'm feeling drained I just want a cup of tea, a good book (or maybe a documentary about animals) and snuggles with my hairy bestie. At these times the last thing I want is small talk or, god forbid, phone conversations.

That said, my job involves talking to lots of people that I don't know all the time. And being a doctor who performs procedures in an outpatient setting, I have to make people comfortable with the idea of me putting needles into them pretty much immediately, so you really do have to engage. And I have to say, this is not something I find particularly difficult at the time, though it can be draining afterwards.

I enjoy social gatherings, moreso with close friends and family. Sometimes if I don't know the people very well I have a sort of Cinderella moment where I stop and go "what rubbish are we talking about?!" and find it difficult to continue making small talk.

 

[Lab_adore]

I am an introvert through and through. I love being at home with my two boys more than anything and parties or other social gatherings are great if it is with my small, close group of friends or with family. If it is with people I don't know I loathe it and am constantly looking at my watch wondering if it is polite to leave yet. Hubby is quiet but enjoys social gatherings much more than me. But he too prefers weekends at home rather than socialising.

It's funny though, when we travel we both become much more extrovert-like in that we love meeting new people and chatting.

I have to run meetings and workshops in my job and am confident on the outside (I hope) but secretly hating them on the inside

 

[Candy]

I'm finding this such a fascinating thread! It seems that many of us have, or have had jobs that involve a lot of interaction with people, which we find rewarding, if draining. Is this part of the reason for us finding our dogs so relaxing (once they're past the puppy stage)?! Is it why we enjoy this form of communication? (Dip in and out as it suits you)? Anyway, it's good to be getting to know everyone!

 

[SwampDonkey]

Introvert very careful around people, don't trust or form friendships quickly. Always worked in jobs with lots of people always liked done well and been a trusted member of staff. Done lots of volunteer work in mental health charities which lve stopped now due to my health. I find very friendly on one very shallow social level and that I have very firm guidelines about who I let into my life. I'm social quirky and kind in work and generally friendly when I'm out and about. I have some very good friends who are family but for me my social bonds are not something I really care about or want. I know the rules and am happy to abide by them most of the time.