Nisha Noo
- Thread starter snowbunny
- Start date
- Location
- Malvern Worcestershire
Maybe she didn't know what love was, so in her final time with you, she knew peace and safety, freedom and good food. You loved her, you gave her a new and better life. It was a hundred times better than her previous life. It is heartbreaking, but know for the first time in her life, because of you, she had love given to her, not in the tangible way you would have wanted, but for her she knew less fear.
- Location
- The Hague, The Netherlands
I am so sorry to read this such sad news. 
You both transformed her life and gave her a proper and loving home and she had her best four legged friend with her too.
X
You both transformed her life and gave her a proper and loving home and she had her best four legged friend with her too.
X
- Location
- Ontario, Canada
Absolutely as Karen has said. I’m so sorry. You rescued her and gave her shelter, food and comfort, but most of all love. Even if she couldn’t respond, you changed those last months of her life into something special.
- Location
- Andorra and Spain
Thank you all for your kind words. Talia is doing OK, I'll update on the other thread.
Nisha's last few hours were truly heartbreaking. We had to trap her; that was easier than it would have been previously, as she was in pain and not moving quickly. We had tried another combination of drugs, but again they did nothing to sedate her. She hid in one of the kennels, and I managed to get a slip lead over her neck. She was absolutely terrified: she pushed herself as far back into the corner as possible, her eyes were wide and her body rigid. I took a photo but it's too upsetting to look at now. I knew there was a chance that she would bite in fear, so I managed to get Shadow's muzzle on her. The first time I had touched her. Her ear was soft and silky. Somehow we them managed to pull her out, with her fighting against us, and get a collar and harness on her. All of these things were too big for her, so we had to put twists in the straps to hold them in place. I was worried it would be uncomfortable for her.
We manhandled her into a crate, and loaded her into the van. She totally shut down, helpless.
At the vet's, we carried the crate into the clinic and the vet injected her with the anaesthetic while she was inside. She fought against it and needed to be given a second injection. Such a fighter. I tried to stroke her head, but she flinched away. It was an instinct to try to soothe her, but she was terrified of human touch. I ran through everything with the vet that needed to be done while she was under: vaccinations, microchip, ketamine so she wouldn't remember.
Eventually she went to sleep and had the X-rays. When we were called back in, no-one would make eye contact with us and we knew it was bad news. The vet showed us the images with a large tumour in her chest, ovarian, uterine and mammary cancers, which were displacing her stomach, intestine, bowel and bladder. Even I could see there was nothing to be done.
The vet asked if we wanted to stay with her while she was put to sleep. I said no. Fuck, I said no. I so wanted to be there for her, but I knew she would take no comfort from it. It would make it worse for her having more people in the room rather than fewer. So I said no. She didn't trust me, I couldn't even make this part easier for her. We walked away.
The last I saw of her, when I went to say goodbye, for my benefit not hers, she was cowering under the table in the consultation room, terrified, disoriented and in pain. My poor, poor girl.
We're doing OK. We're cracking on with the things that need to be done. We're focussing on Talia now; there's a new chapter to begin there. But it will take a long time and so much guilt and regret to get over those last few hours.
Nisha's last few hours were truly heartbreaking. We had to trap her; that was easier than it would have been previously, as she was in pain and not moving quickly. We had tried another combination of drugs, but again they did nothing to sedate her. She hid in one of the kennels, and I managed to get a slip lead over her neck. She was absolutely terrified: she pushed herself as far back into the corner as possible, her eyes were wide and her body rigid. I took a photo but it's too upsetting to look at now. I knew there was a chance that she would bite in fear, so I managed to get Shadow's muzzle on her. The first time I had touched her. Her ear was soft and silky. Somehow we them managed to pull her out, with her fighting against us, and get a collar and harness on her. All of these things were too big for her, so we had to put twists in the straps to hold them in place. I was worried it would be uncomfortable for her.
We manhandled her into a crate, and loaded her into the van. She totally shut down, helpless.
At the vet's, we carried the crate into the clinic and the vet injected her with the anaesthetic while she was inside. She fought against it and needed to be given a second injection. Such a fighter. I tried to stroke her head, but she flinched away. It was an instinct to try to soothe her, but she was terrified of human touch. I ran through everything with the vet that needed to be done while she was under: vaccinations, microchip, ketamine so she wouldn't remember.
Eventually she went to sleep and had the X-rays. When we were called back in, no-one would make eye contact with us and we knew it was bad news. The vet showed us the images with a large tumour in her chest, ovarian, uterine and mammary cancers, which were displacing her stomach, intestine, bowel and bladder. Even I could see there was nothing to be done.
The vet asked if we wanted to stay with her while she was put to sleep. I said no. Fuck, I said no. I so wanted to be there for her, but I knew she would take no comfort from it. It would make it worse for her having more people in the room rather than fewer. So I said no. She didn't trust me, I couldn't even make this part easier for her. We walked away.
The last I saw of her, when I went to say goodbye, for my benefit not hers, she was cowering under the table in the consultation room, terrified, disoriented and in pain. My poor, poor girl.
We're doing OK. We're cracking on with the things that need to be done. We're focussing on Talia now; there's a new chapter to begin there. But it will take a long time and so much guilt and regret to get over those last few hours.
I'm so sorry Fiona, you have invested so much time and compassion into these ladies and it must be heart wrenching for it to have endded like this, especially those last few hours. But, you did the only thing you possibly could. The alternatives were worse. I hope in time you can think of her having contentment with a comfortable bed, lovely food, and the company she had with in Talia during her final months. But this must be so horrible for you right now. Sending love xx
Atemas
UK Tour Guide
- Location
- North Cambridgeshire
How deeply traumatising for you both @snowbunny. All along you have done the kindest things for her. I’m sorry it had to end this way but she won’t be suffering anymore. You are wise to focus now on Talia and look ahead. The very last thing you should feel is guilt but I know it’s easy to say and difficult not to feel it. Take care of yourselves
- Location
- SW London UK
- Location
- East Sussex
I'm so sorry it was such a difficult end to Nisha's life for both her and you. However you have no reason to feel guilty. You did all you could to make her life better in the time you had and if you hadn't acted as you did to take her to the vet she would have been in increasing pain daily - what you did was right, the only course of action in those circumstances. So sad for you. x
- Location
- Cornwall , UK
Guilt is a very common emotion following the loss of a pet , it can torment us so much . Nothing will make you feel better right now but please try not to feel this guilt , you did everything possible for your girl and sadly, sometimes all our efforts just are not enough to save them x
Candy
Biscuit Tin Guardian
- Location
- West Yorkshire, UK
from GGJ and me xxx
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
I'm so deeply sorry. The others have said it better than I can about the guilt. Try to be kind to yourself - you've been through major trauma.
You know my thing about our dogs staying around with us after they pass on for as long as we need them. I'd like to think that Nisha will come back to comfort her friend Talia, you and J. Now that her pain and past trauma don't hold her down, she can see clearly how much you loved her and will finally be able to be close to you, if not in body at least in spirit.
You know my thing about our dogs staying around with us after they pass on for as long as we need them. I'd like to think that Nisha will come back to comfort her friend Talia, you and J. Now that her pain and past trauma don't hold her down, she can see clearly how much you loved her and will finally be able to be close to you, if not in body at least in spirit.
- Location
- Canberra, Australia
How incredibly rough. I know you would have done literally anything to avoid having to do all that, or to be able to explain to her what was happening.
I don’t know if it helps, but direct it as anger towards the bastards who taught her that humans are bad.
We all know that dogs are amongst the most divine animals on Earth. It truly takes the scum of humanity to turn a dog into the wary, distant soul that Nisha was.
I don’t know if it helps, but direct it as anger towards the bastards who taught her that humans are bad.
We all know that dogs are amongst the most divine animals on Earth. It truly takes the scum of humanity to turn a dog into the wary, distant soul that Nisha was.
Thinking of you - just everything that you had tried so hard to avoid, but the only thing that you could possibly do to take the pain away. Do as @Oberon suggests andI'm sure Emily's right too.
Jacqui-S
Moderator
- Location
- Fife, Scotland
Wow, Fiona, so traumatic for you all.
But, what could YOU have done better for Talia? I doubt not much.
You couldn't change the past that she has experienced. That was insurmountable.
I bet my house on Talia knowing you as *kind lady and man* even though she couldn't trust any human hand.
Feel proud of yourselves for even trying, let alone achieving what you did.
But, what could YOU have done better for Talia? I doubt not much.
You couldn't change the past that she has experienced. That was insurmountable.
I bet my house on Talia knowing you as *kind lady and man* even though she couldn't trust any human hand.
Feel proud of yourselves for even trying, let alone achieving what you did.
- Location
- Isle of Man
The poor love must have been in so much pain and you gave her the greatest (and hardest) gift of all we can give our dogs - you released her from her pain. You & J were her bestest friends.
- Location
- Malvern Worcestershire
I am so sad for you @snowbunny, there are no words with what you had to go through at the end. She did know some peace in her life, concentrate on that, while with you she must have felt relief.