Not himself

[Kelsey]

Axel has not been himself today. More quiet than usual, sleeping most the day. Took him for a walk just now and he was very strange. Walking with a different gait, not sure how to explain it, like with purpose but not moving as fast as he normally does. I generally ‘water ski’ behind him for the first bit of the walk but not today. He was very into sniffing and marking on everything, way more than usual. He was going crazy for the long green grass which he does enjoy to sneak but it was over the top tonight.

Just with everything that has come to light I feel very uneasy, feeling very nauseous, I’m sorry to keep unloading but this is weighing me down. I kept stopping to check his heart rate... which I don’t know, it felt ok??? It was beating quicker than at rest but of course he was walking so of course it would be quicker, but it wasn’t fast enough for me to call someone to come pick us up. I kept the walk short and he came home and was pretty drooly, drank some water and now is sleeping yet again at my feet.

We had a man come by tonight and Axel was very happy to say hi but he wasn’t his boisterous self. He still went and got his bone to show the man but then he just lied at my feet and slept, normally he would be eager for pets by the new person. I don’t know. I might be over analyzing but I can’t shake this terrible feeling, like any moment he will be gone.

Thankfully I am taking Axel to the vet tomorrow, his eyes are very goopy right now so I’m thinking we need eye drops. Could that be why he’s not himself?

I literally feel crazy. I’m crying as I write this and I just can’t stop.

 

[Jen]

Oh Kelsey you’re really suffering.

This is full on anxiety - I know exactly how you feel, I suffer from it myself time to time.

Axel is probably just having an off day like we all do, Stanley gets them from time to time as well where he’s out of sorts for whatever reason. Like you say - it could be his eyes.

Hopefully the vet will be able to put your mind at rest and ease some of your anxiety, but as time passes and Axel stays well then you’ll start to feel better x

 

[Oberon]

It’s totally normal for you to attend closely to his every move. But don’t jump to conclusions. Just like us, dogs have days when they don’t feel 100%. So it may well be the case that he’s feeling a bit under the weather. BUT this is not necessarily anything to do with his heart. If I saw Obi doing those things I’d think that he might have a bit of a uncomfortable tum from something, or he might even just be feeling a bit hot. I wouldn’t think that it was something serious. Naturally you are poised to jump to the conclusion that it is serious because of Axel’s recent diagnosis. But that doesn’t make it the right conclusion. The thing is do here is just to note what you’ve seen today and then see how he is over the next 24 hours. Like I would do with Obi.

His heart rate will definitely have gone up with the walking. That’s exactly what it should be doing. So don’t stress about that.

 

[Oberon]

Ps. I don’t mean to imply that Axel has an uncomfortable tum. And it definitely could be related to the goopy eyes.

When you see the vet tomorrow talk to them about what sorts of behaviours should raise your concern and which can go in the ‘not a problem’ basket.

 

[Oberon]

Also, sending a hug!!! Being anxious and hypervigilant sucks.

 

[Atemas]

I’m sorry to keep unloading but this is weighing me down

You need to offload and here’s the place to do it (from one who has done it). I think your feelings are totally understandable but not pleasant. A number of years ago, Sky’s brother died - he was only 9. He was the first born of the litter, a really big strong boy (about twice the size of Sky). Then her mum died - she was 9 too. They both had copper deficiency and died from liver failure. The breeder let everyone who had one of the litter know. We took Sky to the vets and he did blood tests which were sent away to be tested. We had to wait a few days for results - it seemed like an eternity - she was ok. I remember being so anxious about Sky and frightened she was going to die too. I can still remember the feeling now.

 

[Kelsey]

This is full on anxiety

It definitely is, I can’t remember the last time I felt like this but it is so overbearing.

If I saw Obi doing those things I’d think that he might have a bit of a uncomfortable tum from something, or he might even just be feeling a bit hot. I wouldn’t think that it was something serious

This is so true, a few weeks ago I would have assumed the most simplest thing, like ah it’s hot today he’s just lazy. Although how he was walking was strange, not sure what I would have thought about that. But I can see why you would think upset tummy.

 

[Granca]

Just as @Jen says, you are understandably very anxious at the moment. It’s a horrible feeling, making everything seem out of proportion. I hope that talking through things with the vet will help. Thinking of you.

 

[Kelsey]

remember being so anxious about Sky and frightened she was going to die too. I can still remember the feeling now.

It’s such a strong feeling, so strong that it feels like it’s just the way it will be and nothing you do will change it.

 

[Oberon]

Anxiety tells a lot of dirty lies.

 

[Selina27]

@Kelsey&Axel , I hardly know what to say to you, but I think it's understandable you feel upset, after everything that's happened to you. Well, more than upset, I can see. It's good you have the vets visit today and I really hope they can put your mind at ease.

 

[Plum's mum]

So sorry you’re feeling like this @Kelsey&Axel, it really sucks.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

It's so understandable how you are feeling. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Could you have a heart ultrasound, MRI, EKG or whatever the appropriate test on Axel? It may be costly, but if you can swing it the relief to your anxiety would be well worth it.

Axel may also be pinging off your anxiety and that could be affecting his behaviour. Or he's just having an off day. That doesn't make it less worrisome, but may be an explanation.

The question of health within a litter is a tricky one. My Duncan, who died at five, came from the litter that made his excellent breeder stop breeding Rottweilers after 20 years. Sire died young and one by one most of the puppies died young like Duncan. Cause was never determined. However, one of the them lived to be 13, which is ancient for a Rottweiler. As Brogan reached five, I braced myself to lose him too. No relation to Duncan (Brogan was a random rescue dog) but I couldn't shake the doom. It was only when he reached six that I finally let myself relax. There was no logic to any of it since Duncan and Brogan were not related, but anxiety is funny thing.

So again, be kind to yourself - it will get better but it may take a while.

 

[SwampDonkey]

Maybe he's just picking up on your anxiety levels. I know my guys always respond to me when I'm not so well like this. You've been so much lately.
Speak to your vet learn what you can you're protecting him as much as you can,. Let him live and try to live yourself. Don't listen to the doubting voices in your head they lie.

 

[Jacqui-S]

Nothing to add to what the others have said Kelsey.
Overthinking is awful.
Take care of yourself and try relax whatever way you can

 

[Lab_adore]

I'm so sorry you are going through this Kelsey. I hope the vet visit tomorrow brings some comfort

It's frightening sometimes how much we love our dogs

 

[HAH]

You poor poor thing Kelsey, anxiety is crippling and feels so rational. Just echoing others’ comments - you’re doing all you can for him, and hopefully the vet visit will help. If possible, I’d suggest telling the vet all your concerns - however irrational it may feel - and they will hopefully be able to go through them with you. Or make another appointment if there’s not time tomorrow. Writing them down beforehand might help too, so it’s laid out in black and white and you don’t have to keep everything in your head.
You’re probably pretty exhausted too, which gives you few reserves - keep doing the basics like eating well and keeping hydrated, if only for Axel so you’re on form for the vet visit. One step at a time, and we’re all here to listen x

 

[snowbunny]

I have nothing helpful to add, Kelsey, but big hugs to you. Being able to rationalise that it's probably nothing does nothing to allay the fears - I know this first hand from my fear of flying. But fear can become self-fulfilling, too, and we end up afraid of being afraid. I think it's a smart move to talk to your vet and get as much information as possible on both Axel's own diagnosis and what it means in the context of Pattington.

 

[Charlie]

Nothing to add Kelsey other than please don't feel you can't unload because we are all here. I hope your vet visit brings answers and some comfort. This is a horrible way to feel and I'm so sorry for you as you have enough to deal with. Sending lots of to you and gorgeous Axel. xxx

 

[Anne123]

Nothing to add too! Just thinking of you! If it is of comfort I think we all went through this. We know this feeling, also the crying....I cried when I thought I was going to loose Euan a few years ago. I cried in the arms of the dogwalker who happened that time to come to collect Euan for his walk!! It’s a lousy feeling!

Thinking of you and feel the warmth of all of us surrounding you with hugs, cuddles and lambies!