The Kennel Club - no hoomans allowed!

I think I am training this Mama Lady. I think I train her well. We had a visit in the car on Friday, which is something I love because it usually means we go to el riu, or el bar. But, no! We went to see the nice lady Merce in the small place with lots of dog smells. Merce is a nice lady, but I do not like the place with lots of dog smells. I had to go and lie down on a strange table in a room and they took some pictures of me. But they got it wrong, because they were taking photos of the wrong end! They were very interested in my back and legs, and not my beautiful pointy nose and magnificent ears!!
We came home with a few packets, and this is where the training comes in. Because Mama Lady opened these packets and - quin horror! - they contained tablets. I do not like tablets. And, hòstia, one of these tablets is the size of my foot! Mama says I have to have one of these every day. I gave her my best "not on your Nelly" look. She said they were supposed to be tasty. I tried a piece of it and spat it out. No. If it is tasty, you eat it, Mama Lady! No? Well then, I shall not eat it.
She tried covering it in butter to make it super slippery to glide down my throat. Quin ximple! What a fool! I sucked off the delicious butter and spat out the piece of tablet. More butter, ! More tablet, no!
So she upped the ante. This is some very good training from me. She took that piece of tablet and she covered it in deliciós paté. But she knew that was not enough! She is smart and remembers the butter! So she took some butifarra - this is a very tasty Catalan type of what you call sossij - and put that in front of my nose so I swallowed the pate tablet quickly so I could munch up the butifarra.
Hah, she thinks she has me fooled, but it is I who has her fooled! For every day, I have one normal-tablet and one foot-tablet which is broken in four. That means we have FIVE lots of pate-tablet and butifarra.

Am I not the best at human training?

Ginny the Human Whisperer
 
Frens, I had an odd day. I dunno if I did right or what.
My hoomans went out and I had to lookafterthehouse which is OK because I get a treat. But then I needed to GO. You know what I mean. I reallyreallyreally had to GO. And I went to the door but it was shut and I stared at it but it stayed shut and I looked for my hoomans but they weren't there and the door was shut and I REALLYREALLYREALLY NEEDED TO GO! But I can't go in my house can I? But I couldn't get out! But I can't go in my house!
And the only place I could get to that wasn't my house was UPSTAYRS. Now I know lots of you go UPSTAYRS all the time, and some of you have even been UPSTAYRS here (like you my darling Harley @Naya and cleverclevermagic Carbon-who-makes-food-fall-from-the-sky @Emily_Babbelhund ). But I have nevernevernever been UPSTAYRS.
But I went up and then going up made my tummy move and I did a big pile of poo on the first bit of UPSTAYRS and I felt much better but then I didn't want to walk past it again because it smelledhorrid and so I stayed UPSTAYRS!!!!! And there were soft things that smelled of my hoomans and there was a hard shiny thing with water in it and there were new sniffs! So I stayed there. And then I heard my hoomans come back in and I thought ohdearpongoyouareintherongplace but then they called me so I went past the smellysmellysmelly poo and mum said goodboypoorboypongo and it was OK because no one was angry and I went out the door and did another big pooooooooo.
So now I have seen UPSTAYRS and I don't know if I should go up again or not....
Pongo (confused)
 
Well I did go for a walk in a new plaice yesterday, wiv one of my mum's Frens. Twas luv ly fun, I did do hunting hunting hunting
No won sed there wood bee phessies phessies every where !! Woo hoo wot fun I had :dug::tail:I never bin in maze before and is truly amazing. Proper mazin mazin. I found those phessies in that big mazin forest, I did make them fly. My mum she went all funny so I didn't ever run away I knew where she was and you never no will she fall over, so I ran nere her. She got all cited to and jumped up wiv her hand in the air and said SIT .....an you no wot, my buttime did hit the ground evven tho I was running. She was so happy she neerly cried, least I think so.
Then we got lost and very wet and a lot more phesies. Then we did go home and have tea and lite the fire and went :sleep:
 
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