Hola todos! It is I, your favourite Spanish Gentleman Dog. Although lately I have been thinking of changing my name to your favourite Smallish Spanish Gentleman Dog, inspired by mi amiga that I have not yet met,
@Candy 's GGJ. We Labradors of small stature must be proud of our fierceness!
Donde estaba? Where was I?
Oh si. ML has gone loca, crazy. De verdad, really, Reuben or Bramble or SOMEONE ought to try to rescue me.
Here is what is happening: a few days ago, ML took me shopping. Que aburrido, how boring, this shopping. ML can try on the same pair of shoes six times. Does she want it? Does she not want it? I do not even understand the need for shoes! How inefficient are human feet if they need coverings all the time? At least when we go clothes shopping the nice ladies in the store have cookies and I can sit in the little room, poke my nose out into the shop and SHOUT at any other dog who comes by me. But shoe shopping? BORING. No cookies and no other dogs to shout at.
Donde estaba? Where was I?
Oh si. Shoes. She bought some new shoes and then we went to the beach. I like the beach because of dogs and BALLS and humans who throw the balls. Even if they are not mine, they ARE mine, sabes? You know? But on this trip to the beach ML is wearing squishy spotty little boots. You know, like French poodles in a photo shoot? Except they have four little boots and...well, do not ask me how I know about French poodles and fashion. It is all part of being a Spanish gentleman.
There she is, ML, and instead of avoiding the water, she heads right into it! She jumps into the waves, she jumps into the pools. She goes into the middle of a pool and drops a delicious sausage for me to chase BUT THE WATER IS TOO DEEP BECAUSE I AM NOT WEARING RIDICULOUS SPOTTY BOOTS!
Do you remember how I said I like wet from below but not wet from above? It turns out that in fact I really like NO WET AT ALL and I would rather chase a ball (someone else's which is really actually truly mine). If ball chasing is not available, then I would rather have my handsome head on a pillow and a duvet over my soft velvety head. De verdad, truly...is this so hard for ML to understand?
So she splashes and she jumps and she stomps. Que loca! Even other humans - who are also wearing silly squishy boots on their feet - are looking at her like she is one tortilla short of a full meal.
Still, maybe I did think it was fun. A little too wet, but fun. And I got to wear my marvellous purple robe when it was over so all was forgiven, no?
Then TODAY. We go shopping AGAIN. She says, "Oh Carbon, I just have to return these expensive Wellies that didn't fit right. It will just take a minute." It did NOT take a minute, it took 30 minutes. Plus she did NOT return the silly squishy boots. We came out of the store with another big funny box. "Ooo, we have to try these out," she says.
And off we go to the beach. Today it was storming and windy and was there anyone else on the beach? Claro que no! Of course not! No balls that are not mine but are really mine to chase. Just ML and her second pair of squishy boots. These go up all the way to her knees and she says, "Now we can go in REALLY deep water!".
No, ML, mi amor, now YOU can go in really deep water. Where is my pillow? My feet are cold.
"Oh, Carboncito," laughs ML, "Señor Grumpypantalones is back with a vengeance."
But does she stop? No. She does not. She runs into the waves and stomps all around even more than before. "Look, Carbon!" she says, "This is great! I'm not even wet!"
Oh, but querida, I cannot say the same for myself. In fact, I am very, very wet. And hungry. And GRUMPY.
Gracias a dios, thank goodness, the sun was setting over the water - which I must admit was very pretty - and it was time to go home. I had my dinner and all is forgiven. At least until the next time she tries to drag me into the cold water just because she has squishy boots on.
Come to think of it, maybe those French poodles are on to something.
Buenas noches a todos!
xx
