The Labraventures of Carbón, Spanish (ex-) foster dog extraordinaire

[Granca]

 

[M.F.]

So sorry to hear about your week (just catching up). You have been through so much. Carbon is so lucky to have you caring for him. The anxiety for you must be unbearable. Hopefully this is the lowest point and it’s all up from here.

avoid it like the plague.

Exactly which reference point are you using? Sorry, couldn’t resist! I see many people not avoiding the current plague!!

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Exactly which reference point are you using? Sorry, couldn’t resist! I see many people not avoiding the current plague!!

Hey, it works for the current plague as well. I'm avoiding that too!

 

[kateincornwall]

How are you both doing @Emily_Babbelhund ? xx

 

[Boogie]

 

[Granca]

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

How are you both doing @Emily_Babbelhund ? xx

Thanks for asking, @kateincornwall


This will certainly be TMI, but hey ho...if it wasn't TMI it wouldn't be Emily, right?

Carbon is doing much better. His wounds are now completely healed and while they look a little odd to say the least, his new plumbing works and that's what is important. Now I just need to convince my dad to stop referring to Carbon as a hermaphrodite. Not politically correct - or anatomically correct either...

Carbon SEEMS to have more energy, but I can't tell any change in his tongue color. I'm no expert plus I see him every day, so we'll just have to see next Friday how his bloods look. We had a nice walk through the castle park this morning while it was cool. If there are any problems now it is that Carbon stops to wee incessantly. Of course I'd been letting him do that while he was having wee difficulties and now it is a habit. This morning I was able to convince him after the first 10 minutes or so that we BOTH needed some proper walking instead of just a wee and a doddle.

I'm worried about starting the Milteforan in a few weeks, but I think it is the right thing to do. Onward and upward! For the moment, I'm feeding him tons as I want him a bit chunky before he starts. Carbon is enjoying this newfound bounty.

I'm kind of still in the dregs myself. I've decided to come off my psych meds but SLOWLY this time. It seems to be working well and I'm taking the fact that I wanted to do a long-ish walk this morning with Carbon to be a good sign. I've had zero interest in any sort of exercise since I went on the meds and while they certainly help my mood, right now I'm more worried about my physique. Hopefully this will help.

As I mentioned on the Coronavirus thread, I spoke to my father a few days ago about not going to the US in September. He accepted this (kind of) in the context that we need to stay here to do Carbon's Leish treatment. I told him we'd see about a October/November visit but that frankly I wasn't optimistic that it would be a good idea...or even possible.

Frankly, the more time that passes from that conversation, the more peeved I get. No mention from my father that it could be dangerous to fly (to me and to him/Donna) or that he wants me to stay safe. No mention about any solution to quarantine once I got there, even though I've been saying for months that I don't know how we'd do that safely.

This is all pushing some old buttons. When I had cancer and was in the hospital, he didn't visit during the whole year because he said he'd need me to pick him up at the airport, find an apartment for him and do his grocery shopping. At the time we had the initial conversation, I couldn't make it to the toilet in my hospital room, let alone do all that. No lie, he is my father and I love him, but I wanted to punch him in the face.

I know I sound like a whiney baby, but it would be nice if he tried to come up with some solutions himself, or showed some concern for the danger of traveling to the US. I know he cares about me in his own way, but "Don't feel bad if you can't make it, it's just not safe right now" would go a long way. Of course he himself is still going out to shops and all sorts of places that he no longer tells me about, so it's not just me that he's not so worried about. "It's just a cold that we have to get used to." Right...

Despite all my moaning, there is lots to be grateful for. I am here in my "Bunker", safe, healthy and Carbon is on the mend. My goal this week is a good walk every day with Carbon in the cool morning and NO ICE CREAM. Baby steps to getting healthier.

 

[kateincornwall]

Aww , bless you Emily xx Your Dad sounds a lot like my late Mother who also showed scant regard for me , just herself , so I know how this can hurt , a lot x
So very pleased that Carbon is so much better in himself now , so fingers crossed for his blood results . I`m also pleased that you are employing a positive attitude now, but please be careful coming off those meds , slowly slowly please , sending love and hugs xxx

 

[Granca]

That’s progress, Emily. As Kate says, just take things slowly. It’s a pity (and irritating) your father doesn’t see both sides of the problem, but the priority is the best way forward for you and Carbon at the moment.

 

[Cath]

for you both

 

[Stacia]

It is 'hurtful' Emily that your Father appeared to have no understanding how ill you were with cancer. Maybe at the moment, because he is older, he really believes it is 'just a cold', Covid 19 is a corona virus as is the common cold, but that is because they look like a crown, so what the specialist told your Father has confused him or he has chosen to believe that as it easier than worrying. Parents get selfish as they get older, or should I say some parents, I try very hard not to become one of those. You need to look after yourself and dear Carbon at the moment. Depression and anxiety are wretched things to live with, I have experienced both, mostly I feel ok now, you will find peace xx

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

It is 'hurtful' Emily that your Father appeared to have no understanding how ill you were with cancer.

Thanks, @Jelinga . He doesn't mean any harm by it, it's just the way he deals with bad things - he ignores them. My own superpower is to forget things that I don't want to remember, so I get it. Still, it sticks in my craw sometimes, especially when he talks about how I don't know about chemo or surgery or being in the darn hospital. Um yeah, I do. Just because you didn't see it , doesn't mean it didn't happen. Oh well, I need to apply my superpower and just forget about him forgetting.

Maybe at the moment, because he is older, he really believes it is 'just a cold', Covid 19 is a corona virus as is the common cold, but that is because they look like a crown, so what the specialist told your Father has confused him or he has chosen to believe that as it easier than worrying.

You have that exactly right - that's why my father said the doctor told him, that both are corona viruses. So now it's in his head as a common cold. On the other hand, because of Donna, he does take wearing his mask and hand washing seriously. Being careful because of her is probably saving his bacon, thank goodness.

Depression and anxiety are wretched things to live with, I have experienced both, mostly I feel ok now, you will find peace xx

You are right, they stink! I'm glad you feel better now.

My mental illness showed up at 10 years old when I couldn't stop thinking about killing myself (ideation, not actually doing it!). My mother's whole side of the family have various mental illnesses so it's genetic. The hospital experience after my train accident in the UK put me up into the stratosphere and it's never really gotten better, just gone in waves. I try to manage how high and low the waves get.

The meds have been a big help to me mentally during the last two years, but they've had a bad effect on my weight and fitness so I'd really like to try life without them for a while. I seem to have less severe food cravings and more energy to exercise when I'm off of them. It's still hard to eat right and exercise, but on meds it's like I don't even care anymore. Unlike my other recent tries, I'm tapering the meds very slowly and am in now in my second week. Before the furthest I got 'cold turkey' was three days. We'll see what happens, fingers crossed.

 

[Beanwood]

Lovely update @Emily_Babbelhund , now it looks like Carbon is feeling happier, I am hoping this will help with your up and down emotions right now, and really feeling a bit weird about things is totally OK. The only thing I would give some thought to is holding off any long walks, even though Carbon is eager about them, until you get the blood results in. Short and sweet, with lots of rest and fluids.

If you can, try and keep gently telling your Dad it will be challenging to see them both, but you are optimistic about a future visit, but it will be some months yet. He does sounds a little confused about Covid19 right now, but a lot of the older generation are, so try and let that flow over you. Actually there may be some truism in his conversation with the doctor, as comparing Covid19 to the common cold is a way of explaining the point that, just like the common cold, it will be part of the human portfolio of nasties going forward, just this one is nastier than most.

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

The only thing I would give some thought to is holding off any long walks, even though Carbon is eager about them, until you get the blood results in.

Yes, that's good advice. Our 'long walks' today were two walks of 30 minutes each. Considering we were doing three walks of less than 10 minutes each since his surgery, we probably did overdo it.

We'll go back to minimal walks tomorrow and instead add some training time inside the apartment.

 

[Stacia]

Good to read your update Emily, I wanted to like it with a 'care button' but we don't have one. It is hard to have a genetic mental illness, takes a lot of effort to manage it without the meds, the meds alter the chemistry of the brain and help. Fingers crossed that you can manage without them, but don't let yourself get too down before you seek their help again, take it steady as you are doing. xx

 

[FayRose]

Ah, Emily
When I read what you've been through I realise I had it very easy with my 'difficult at times' family x

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

Ah, Emily
When I read what you've been through I realise I had it very easy with my 'difficult at times' family x

We all have difficult times. back to you.

To be honest, reading what I wrote yesterday I feel embarrassed. Talk about TMI! I've rather outdone myself this time. All I can offer is please everyone take it as a (strange) compliment that I feel comfortable enough here on the forum to let it all hang out.

For better or worse.

Also I wanted to say thank you all for giving me another perspective on the wisdom of traveling to the US. I'm a solitary creature by habit and tend to live in my own little echo chamber. Having different perspectives here on the forum from people I care about is extremely helpful.

On a very different and bright note, Carbon and I got out for our walk at 6:30 am. Not a soul on the streets, lovely and cool. I let him off lead for the first time in three weeks and he did a little hoolie which was a delight to see. Back at home, huge breakfast for Carboncito Bandito and now he's in a food coma. Good day already for the two of us!

 

[Atemas]

Remember @Emily_Babbelhund, we are right behind you and Carbon. Glad Carbon has had time off lead - bless him

 

[Jacqui-S]

What Alison @Atemas said.

 

[Stacia]

What @Atemas and @Jacqui-S said as well x