Flicka

Joy

Location
East Sussex
It was lovely to see a photo of Rourke - what a gorgeous boy he was! And Flicka looks beautiful too. I'm sure it must be very hard to accept the current limitations that Flicka brings, but as others have said she has only been with you a very short time.

Last week I visited a friend (in her 80s) who I used to meet regularly to train Rally together. For various reasons we haven't met up for a few years, and 7 months ago she got 6 year-old rescue Sheltie. She was telling me that when she got him he was incredibly nervous of everything and everyone and that for the first 2 weeks she lived with the garden door permanently open so that he could just go in and out as he pleased. Well he has turned into a wonderful loving companion for my friend. He is much more confident - still a bit reserved with men but he greeted me cheerfully and wanted me to stroke him (when I stopped he pushed into me for more). He now has excellent recall so goes off-lead on walks and is beginning to learn Rally exercises. She said for a while she wondered what on earth she'd let herself in for but she was determined not to let the dog down and he has repaid her in spades.

Just telling this story in hopes that it will encourage you @Jelinga , that it may take a fair few months but Flicka will eventually become the dog you want.
 

Joy

Location
East Sussex
I think it actually helps us as much as our dog if we try to view the dog's behaviour through a different lens. So instead of viewing the dog as a rebellious adolescent we take the viewpoint that the dog is behaving in the way they do for reasons such as:

  • they like what they are doing
  • they are scared of doing the thing we want
  • they don't yet trust us to keep them safe and provide interesting experiences
  • they find the behaviour they are performing comforting
  • they don't understand what we want them to do
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus then maybe dogs are from Alpha Centuri. Puppies and re-homed adult dogs are out of their comfort zone, they don't speak human and need time to adapt. It doesn't mean we can't feel frustrated sometimes, but as the person on their 'home planet' it behoves us to be the responsible, patient ones.

Over a period of time we build a bond with a dog and then they are willing to do things we want because they like us, they trust us, they know that usually the thing we want them to do is pleasurable for them. But it takes time.

When I started working with Rajah, the Goldie I borrow, he was too scared to go with me, so to start with I trained in the front garden while his owner sat on the door step watching. Then in the garden without her watching. Then we trained on the pavement outside the house. Then we walked as far as the local park. It was months before he would consent to get in my car. He was 18 months old when I started. Now he's 5 years old, greets me enthusiastically and travels all over the place with me to shows. Of course it's taken longer because I only see him once a week. But time is the key.
 

HAH

Moderator
Location
Devon, UK
I had written above post yesterday but hadn't posted it! I have had a think and realised the wild behaviour yesterday morning was due to her being over excited at seeing me and being hungry. So thanks again @Joy, I made no attempt to train at that time.

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This is fantastic Sonia! I love these invaluable moments of insight, we get them often with Stilton now, and as we get to know each other better they become more fluent. Yesterday I was struggling to get him to concentrate, and realized Iโ€™d left some roast chicken on the side with a quarter light window open behind it, which - understandably - was wafting very distracting smells across his bow! I find it really helps take some of the frustration out of the relationship when you can say โ€˜ahhh, thatโ€™s why this is happening!โ€™.
And what an utterly glorious photo of Flicka. Sheโ€™s a beauty, and youโ€™re a great photographer ๐Ÿ˜Š
 
This is fantastic Sonia! I love these invaluable moments of insight, we get them often with Stilton now, and as we get to know each other better they become more fluent. Yesterday I was struggling to get him to concentrate, and realized Iโ€™d left some roast chicken on the side with a quarter light window open behind it, which - understandably - was wafting very distracting smells across his bow! I find it really helps take some of the frustration out of the relationship when you can say โ€˜ahhh, thatโ€™s why this is happening!โ€™.
And what an utterly glorious photo of Flicka. Sheโ€™s a beauty, and youโ€™re a great photographer ๐Ÿ˜Š
Granddaughter took the photo! Yes, we do have to think outside the box which hadn't really occurred to me at that particular time!
 
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