My sweet Axel

Candy

Candy

Biscuit Tin Guardian
Location
West Yorkshire, UK
I'm glad you managed to take some time for yourself after the incredibly stressful week you've had. Keep coming here to talk to us if you feel like it, we're all still here for you. :hug:
 
Emily_Babbelhund

Emily_Babbelhund

Mama Red HOT Pepper
Location
Regensburg, Germany
Still thinking of you, Kelsey. Speaking from personal experience, that last image in your head of Axel will fade to be replaced by memories of him full of life. But I also hear you and had the same difficulties with Brogan. It helped to talk about him, remember all the funny things he did and adventures we had. The original Labrador forum was so helpful for that as I talked about him all the time and everyone was so kind because most of them (now "us" 😊) have lost a beloved dog and while we all have different experiences, we still know the pain in our own ways.

I've said this before on this forum, and again it's my own belief, but it helps me still. The day after Brogan died, I had such a clear picture in my head of him bounding down the street next to me in Regensburg, happy and in no pain, saying, "Look Mom, I'm all better and now I can go everywhere with you and as FAST as the wind - look at us run!" He was 13 when he passed and walked so slowly that sometimes it felt as if we weren't moving at all that last year, but I could just feel his joy at being free, and he was telling me to be happy for him too.

He really walked with me all during the next few years before Carbon found me, as did Duncan and Jodhi. It helped me to feel them rallied around me in my darker moments, becoming sources of comfort. I live alone, and the silence was driving me crazy, so I started talking to them, just like I'd talked to them when their furry little selves were there in body as well as spirit. I believe they were there and still come when I need them, or one or more of them join along on a particularly wonderful day out with Carbon, just for the joy of it.

Everyone has different beliefs, but this is mine and it helped/help when things are darkest. Maybe your own version can help you too.

And keep talking.

:hug:
 
Atemas

Atemas

UK Tour Guide
Location
North Cambridgeshire
Emily_Babbelhund said:
that last image in your head of Axel will fade to be replaced by memories of him full of life
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This is so true. When I read your words @Kelsey&Axel of not being able to get that image out of your head, it took me back to when Sky was pts. I felt like that for ages but it does retreat more to the background. I think knowing that we have done the best for our darling dogs and the kindest thing, helps enormously in coming to terms with them not being with us anymore. You gave him the best life - can’t say better than that:hug:
 
Kelsey

Kelsey

Emily_Babbelhund said:
Still thinking of you, Kelsey. Speaking from personal experience, that last image in your head of Axel will fade to be replaced by memories of him full of life. But I also hear you and had the same difficulties with Brogan. It helped to talk about him, remember all the funny things he did and adventures we had. The original Labrador forum was so helpful for that as I talked about him all the time and everyone was so kind because most of them (now "us" 😊) have lost a beloved dog and while we all have different experiences, we still know the pain in our own ways.

I've said this before on this forum, and again it's my own belief, but it helps me still. The day after Brogan died, I had such a clear picture in my head of him bounding down the street next to me in Regensburg, happy and in no pain, saying, "Look Mom, I'm all better and now I can go everywhere with you and as FAST as the wind - look at us run!" He was 13 when he passed and walked so slowly that sometimes it felt as if we weren't moving at all that last year, but I could just feel his joy at being free, and he was telling me to be happy for him too.

He really walked with me all during the next few years before Carbon found me, as did Duncan and Jodhi. It helped me to feel them rallied around me in my darker moments, becoming sources of comfort. I live alone, and the silence was driving me crazy, so I started talking to them, just like I'd talked to them when their furry little selves were there in body as well as spirit. I believe they were there and still come when I need them, or one or more of them join along on a particularly wonderful day out with Carbon, just for the joy of it.

Everyone has different beliefs, but this is mine and it helped/help when things are darkest. Maybe your own version can help you too.

And keep talking.

:hug:
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Thank you for that, I really do feel similar. I do feel he is constantly with me now. Even places he couldn’t go before, like in a store. He’s just with me constantly. That first night I slept in my bed alone, I opened my eyes as I was drifting, and I was facing his side, and there was a dark shadow, exactly where he would be, it even moved, call me crazy
 but I know wholeheartedly that it was him ❀❀❀

I talked to gizmo today about Axel. Just asking if he missed Axel, and then Gizmo looked me straight in the eye and I just kept talking about how Axel was such a good boy and I miss him too, and he just maintained eye contact đŸ„ș❀

yesterday I had a quick visit with my parents and we were reminiscing about Axel’s naughty puppy moments. There was one time I was so frustrated
 I had got home from work and I let Axel out of his crate. He was 14 weeks at the time and still was having puppy wee accidents, and they were huge! Lakes on my floors, truly 😂 anyways, I let him outside and he wouldn’t go, he just wanted to eat everything. So went back inside and first thing he did, after jumping at me, biting my legs, and my arms and fingers
 was pee smack dab in the middle of the living room, a massive lake! I ran to get paper towel and as I did that this monster got the zoomies, ran through his lake he created, multiple times, running all over the place. I’m trying to get him to stop, he’s biting me more, I’m on the phone with my mom crying because this monster was so difficult. Then I’m using paper towel to clean up his mess and he grabs the pee soaked paper towels running around ripping them to shreds. I could hear my mom telling me ‘Kelsey, just pop him in the crate for 10 minutes, he will be fine, you both need a time out. I’m coming over’

we laughed and laughed yesterday. But then these ferocious puppies turn into the most loving most loyal dogs and those puppy terror days are a funny memory. He truly was the bestest boy, I never saw him turning into the gentleman he was, but one day he just did ❀❀❀❀❀
 
kateincornwall

kateincornwall

Location
Cornwall , UK
These memories are so precious and I also know about feeling the presence . When I was in ICU four years ago , the nurse asked me if knew someone called Sam . Now Sam had passed on a few months before my emergency surgery but I did recall clearly that I felt him there with me , and the nurse said that I was talking to someone called Sam . It may well have been the drugs but I prefer to think he was there in my time of need . Whatever we believe , if it brings comfort then its the right belief for us xx I am so glad you were reminiscing with your parents , its such a wonderful thing to do xx
 
Kelsey

Kelsey

kateincornwall said:
These memories are so precious and I also know about feeling the presence . When I was in ICU four years ago , the nurse asked me if knew someone called Sam . Now Sam had passed on a few months before my emergency surgery but I did recall clearly that I felt him there with me , and the nurse said that I was talking to someone called Sam . It may well have been the drugs but I prefer to think he was there in my time of need . Whatever we believe , if it brings comfort then its the right belief for us xx I am so glad you were reminiscing with your parents , its such a wonderful thing to do xx
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Ohhh that’s so sweet ❀đŸ„ș Sam was there with you, no doubt about it â€đŸŸ
 
SwampDonkey

SwampDonkey

I still ride one of my old ponies at night. I ride him often in the places we used to go. He was my favourite pony. I also ride a big horse but not as often he's a big rangy red roan. I always wake up feeling very refreshed after these dream rides. Their names are Shadow and Birch. I often feel them, my dogs that are gone. If anyone asks me I always say I have Four the line seems very blurred. I feel I do have 4 dogs.
 
Kelsey

Kelsey

SwampDonkey said:
I still ride one of my old ponies at night. I ride him often in the places we used to go. He was my favourite pony. I also ride a big horse but not as often he's a big rangy red roan. I always wake up feeling very refreshed after these dream rides. Their names are Shadow and Birch. I often feel them, my dogs that are gone. If anyone asks me I always say I have Four the line seems very blurred. I feel I do have 4 dogs.
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đŸ„°â€ That’s so nice 😊

i love hearing peoples past furbabies stories and how they come to visit 💕
 
Granca

Granca

Kelsey&Axel said:
My only wish is that first CT scan would have worked out and then he wouldn’t have suffered for another whole week 😭 but selfishly glad I had a bit more time with him. But had I known just how bad everything was, I wouldn’t have taken that extra time đŸ„ș
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The best advice that I was once given was, “Don’t think ‘what if
’”. It’s easier said than done, but it helped enormously. The happy memories will gradually outweigh the recent sad time you’ve been through. Axel knew he was loved - that’s really important. :hug:
 
Cath

Cath

MLF Sales Coordinator
Beautiful tribute Kelsey. Try not to keep replaying things in your head. Just remember how wonderful your time together was.
Be kind to yourself :hug:
 
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