Neo’s anxieties

[Candy]

Training classes with Joy were really stressful. I was the only person there wearing gardening gloves! I had to, because every time the trainer talked (and he did this quite a lot) puppy Joy got Veryvery bored and ate my hands. In retrospect I think I was expecting too much, too soon from her. Less than six months later I took her to Flyball, which was totally full on and completely mad and she absolutely loved it, was a star of the first order, we suddenly were a team, and a winning one and we've never looked back.
Our dogs are as different and individual as we are. I absolutely understand that it's hard at present. The long term results are so well worth waiting for though, so hang on in there and one day you'll be the one giving advice to frazzled new puppy owners. Honest!xxx

 

[Emily]

I think part of my problem is I have difficulty ‘reading’ him at times and I’m sometimes unsure if he is having a typical over the top teenage lab moment or is genuinely anxious in some situations. How I wish they could talk!

I can't tell you how much I understand this! My Ella stresses high, so if something worries her, she can appear like a happy lunatic rather than a stressed out dog.

It took me soooooooooo long to be able to tell the difference and even longer to have the confidence to tell people that she wasn't happy to see them and she was actually stressed and I was going to take her for some space.

 

[Candy]

I can't tell you how much I understand this! My Ella stresses high, so if something worries her, she can appear like a happy lunatic rather than a stressed out dog.

It took me soooooooooo long to be able to tell the difference and even longer to have the confidence to tell people that she wasn't happy to see them and she was actually stressed and I was going to take her for some space.

I agree Emily, I have been slow in picking up on Joy's distress signals and then being assertive enough to say ' No, we're not doing this now because she's not happy ' takes another whole..... I don't know the word for it exactly, but it has to be done. I also think some trainers, probably particularly when they're running a sort of a generic 'One type of training suits all dogs' kind of thing aren't necessarily the best for all dogs. Now that my girl and I have got to know each other properly and established trust and a firm bond we do much better and have lovely times. Training and behaviour is no longer any sort of an issue, she's just lovely and I don't put her in situations that she's likely to find difficult to cope with. Also, to be fair there are very few of these, she just takes everything in her stride nowadays.

 

[Parodius]

I can't tell you how much I understand this! My Ella stresses high, so if something worries her, she can appear like a happy lunatic rather than a stressed out dog.

It took me soooooooooo long to be able to tell the difference and even longer to have the confidence to tell people that she wasn't happy to see them and she was actually stressed and I was going to take her for some space.

Exactly this - he often comes across as being overly enthusiastic when really he’s just super anxious.

 

[Candy]

This was my Joy too. She grew out of it and I can take her pretty much anywhere nowadays and do anything with her. She's five now, but did her first long train journey (Yorkshire to Norfolk) when she was less than two, and managed it calmly and brilliantly. Don't give up on that lovely boy of yours. Have faith in him! I think you'll be SO pleasantly surprised eventually.

 

[Selina27]

@Parodius , reading through everyone else's comments on this t

I guess I just get a bit discouraged when trainers don’t want to work with him,

I can imagine that you do, but them not wanting to work with him probably says more about their limitations than it does about you and Neo. Finding a good trainer that really "gets" you is so helpful.

 

[HAH]

It’s strange, I never had an issue reading Billie, I always knew if she wasn’t happy about something. Neo is a much more ‘serious’ dog than she was, always thinking. Don’t know if this has a bearing, maybe it’s just me!

Howdy @Parodius - my experience with Kipper is that I didn’t feel I ‘knew’ him until he was at least 2. I found it really tough to understand some of his behaviors and felt really bad about this for ages. What I’ve come to realize is there’s so much to learn about each other, and as they’re constantly developing through adolescence it’s tricky to get a handle on the whole dog until they’re a bit older. So I suspect it’s always going to be challenging to read each other well until you’re slightly out of that maelstrom of development. Added to this they’re all individuals, some will seem straightforward and some more complex. Hopefully this helps in taking some of that pressure off.

 

[HAH]

I can't tell you how much I understand this! My Ella stresses high, so if something worries her, she can appear like a happy lunatic rather than a stressed out dog.

It took me soooooooooo long to be able to tell the difference and even longer to have the confidence to tell people that she wasn't happy to see them and she was actually stressed and I was going to take her for some space.

This is so well put! I completely get this, thanks Emily

 

[Selina27]

What I’ve come to realize is there’s so much to learn about each other, and as they’re constantly developing through adolescence it’s tricky to get a handle on the whole dog until they’re a bit older. So I suspect it’s always going to be challenging to read each other well until you’re slightly out of that maelstrom of development. Added to this they’re all individuals, some will seem straightforward and some more complex. Hopefully this helps in taking some of that pressure off.

Exactly this. I find that I'm still seeing different things in Cassie's character/personality , it's as if at 6 eveyrthing has settled down and the real Cassie is emerging.
Sort of thing, I'm not explaining it very well!

 

[Atemas]

Sort of thing, I'm not explaining it very well!

No you have.

it's as if at 6 eveyrthing has settled down and the real Cassie is emerging.

Yes I feel that about Red. I absolutely adore her and the early years don’t bear any resemblance to the dog I now have

 

[Parodius]

Thanks all for sharing your experiences and suggestions, much appreciated. It helps to hear that others have gone through similar and come out the other side with a happy, confident companion. I’m sure we will get there too (eventually!), he’s such a loving boy and I’m lucky to have him with me

 

[Lab_adore]

it's as if at 6 eveyrthing has settled down and the real Cassie is emerging.

So there IS hope yet!

When I really sit down and think about how far Maxx has come I know we have done most things right. It's really just the crazy jumping and sleeve nipping when he meets someone new or someone he hasn't seen for a while. Recall is another but we manage it. Oh and barking if anyone comes to the door or, goodness me, into the house. It's like he thinks they are axe murderers (or perhaps he just wants to know if they have any FOOD!)

 

[JES72]

Don’t worry about progress being slow or interrupted by Mother in laws or anything else. Progress is slow and there will be setbacks.
Homer is now ten and is still on Sertaline and has Xanax if there are fireworks or thunderstorms. I still count every noise that he doesn’t react to as a victory. There are some things he still doesn’t like such as the bin lorry but he’s a lot better with a lot of other noises.
I know what you mean when you say he is “always thinking” Homer is like this too. I found that man trailing helped him a lot as he has to think and is in charge.

 

[Parodius]

Neo had a really great separation/noise training session this morning. I’ve been working on moving out of view briefly and while he was showing some interest initially, he’s realising that it’s not really worth his while getting up to investigate and he’s better off staying put on his comfy spot.

In today’s session I’ve been deliberately noisy moving around the hallway, opening and closing doors etc and he’s barely shown any interest, I even managed to noisily unload the washing machine which sounds ridiculous but before, if he could hear something going on he thought he was missing out and he had to be involved. There was also a delivery over the road with a fair bit of door slamming and he chose to ignore it and stay put!

Next step will be going upstairs and banging about but will work up to that as don’t want to push my luck. Who knows, maybe sometime soon I will be able to leave the house without him (whilst still wearing my hat of course )! Here he is now taking a well earned nap after being such a good boy.

 

[Selina27]

Well done to you both xx

 

[SwampDonkey]

So good to hear. Well done to you both

 

[kateincornwall]

Good lad Neo , a lovely positive post x

 

[Stacia]

What a darling dog x

 

[HAH]

I love how gently you’re doing this @Parodius , all keeping within Neo’s comfort zone. Fantastic work to both of you

 

[Candy]

Well done! Big steps in the right direction!