"Queen" Lilly ❤️ 15 years

[Jacqui-S]

I haven't posted much about Lilly lately as there seem to be more negatives than positives and I'm worried that her time left is short.

Probably over the last year her mobility has slowly declined and it seems to be more rapidly progressive over the last couple of months. Apart from her life-long bilateral hip dysplasia, and right hip/elbow arthritis, I think she has quite bad spinal stenosis now too.

I may (or may not?) have mentioned that we have been struggling with faecal incontinence which started maybe about 18 months ago (the spinal stenosis) and has got progressively worse. I probably pick up more poop in the house than in the garden. The poor soul tries, but ends up either with in her bed, or in a line on the way to the back door. I frequently wake during the night with eau de poop that I have to clear up.
A few nights ago she had again pooped in her bed and clearly sat in it, either unaware, or unable to move. I had to help her up as she was stuck and ended up after failing to clean her with wipes, outside at 4am washing her bottom. (She no longer even tries the shower). To be fair, it was worse than it might have been as I think she had been foraging for baby windfall pears and apples.......

She looks like she is playing "the floor is lava" and if she goes off the carpeted areas, she can't reverse, back legs just don't work that way, and she occasionally falls over, or needs help to move. She struggles lying down - can't do her "circling" sit anymore, but slowly brings herself down sphinx-like then kind of flops on her side. She often can't get her whole self on her bed - her bum often hangs off. We haven't asked her to sit for a treat for at least a couple of years.......

On the plus side, she is still eating well. She still comes through when she smells toast. Still still looks a little excited if she thinks there is a walk in the offing. They need to be short though, and she isn't so keen in the car. Oh and .......well.......might poop.......
She is pretty deaf, her eyesight is a bit dodgy, but IF she hears me coming home she still gets excited for her "post work treat".

11 August 2025

youtube.com

I think what makes any decision harder is that Scott and Eilidh have just got a new puppy that I have offered "day care" for 2 days a week.
And we are about to go on holiday at the end of next week. She would be staying with SIL Di (and Georgie) and Sophie too for a few of the days.

We are really full of dilemmas.
I'm worried how much pain she is in. She seems to have been on so many different painkillers that don't seem to have made a huge difference.
I know "A day too soon is better than a day too late", but I don't want to make the decision for the wrong reasons.
Urgh. So hard right now..

 

[Selina27]

Urgh. So hard right now..

I wish I knew what to say, but I don't . This is very tough for you.

She is still Her Majesty Queen Lily

 

[Atemas]

We are really full of dilemmas

Yes I think many of us here have gone through similar. I really feel for you. It is the hardest decision to make. The fact that Lilly is still eating, up for her walks and her toast and coming home treat make it so much harder

 

[Emily_Babbelhund]

First of all, those photos of Lilly are adorable. The Queen has still got it and you’re giving her happy moments to remember.

Having said that, I’m so sorry it’s been so hard with the incontinence and her other age-related health challenges. Ageing is cruel and hard and just downright stinks. You do the care out of love, but it is still very wearing on you both physically and mentally. Plus the worry of having to eventually make a decision that no one wants to make but we all have to at some point.

Everyone is going to tell you the same version of what I’ll say too: whatever you decide and whenever you decide it, it will be the right one and when. You know Lilly best and will do right by her. That makes it not easier at all and is not advice of any kind, just my faith in you as a good human and Lilly’s best friend.

Sending lots of love from me and the Señor

 

[kateincornwall]

Oh Jac , my heart breaks for you . Poor old girl seems to have so many things wrong with her now , the incontinence must be just awful to deal with . You are so right , a day too soon is better than a day too late but its such a tough call to make .You must be worn out with the worry and dealing with the continual accidents, I know you will always do your best but sometimes , even our best is not enough , thinking of you all xxxxx

 

[JES72]

I am so sorry that the decision is looming. It’s so hard to see them in pain and fading away when there is still love in their eyes. When Homer was poorly everyone said “ you’ll know when it’s time” I couldn’t really believe that and wondered and waited and did everything I could to help him until that morning when I just knew it was time. We’ll all be thinking of you and Lilly. Sending big hugs.

 

[HAH]

Oh Jac, I am sorry you have this weight and beautiful Lilly is struggling in these ways. Emily puts it best, that you know Lilly inside out and will do what is best for her. I think that in this situation, you can’t separate out all the other factors you’re needing to consider; so I don’t know if it’s any help but I don’t think you could make the decision for the wrong reasons. Lilly and her quality of life is your priority, and that includes thinking about the other things that will make a difference to her. You love her very deeply, and that includes thinking about these awful inevitables. Sending you so much love xxxxx

 

[Candy]

So sorry this is happening Jacqi. I have nothing to add to the words that have already been said by others, but you and lovely Lilly are in my thoughts,and I am sending love.

 

[Loraseal]

I was filling up with tears when I read this. Queen Lily has a special place in all our hearts. I don't I have any wise words of wisdom. Lily knows she is loved and that is the most sacred gift you can give a dog. The inevitable is awful. Sending you both lots of love and understanding at such a difficult crossroads.xx

 

[Lab_adore]

I don't have the words outside of what everyone has said. Sending so many

 

[Cath]

Oh I am so sorry Jac. Bless you and Queen Lily

 

[Granca]

It’s so hard, Jacqui. I can’t add anything either, but sending lots of hugs for you and
“Queen” Lilly.

 

[Kelsey]

Such a beautiful girl Lilly is
A lot of wise words have been said already . You’ll know when it’s time. For me it was this special moment between Axel and I, we were curled up on the floor together, and it was like he was speaking to me clear as day, that he was ready

 

[Joy]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and lovely Lilly. xx

 

[Stacia]

Lilly looked in good condition in the video despite her gait. She has the most beautiful expression. I went through what you are going through a year ago, the indecision, but one morning you will wake up and as @Kelsey says, you will just know. It is so heartbreaking when they get old

 

[M.F.]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I, too, don’t post much of Snowie cos it’s mostly about worrying about this or that. But the other night he was dreaming and his tail was wagging.

Snowie’s brother died in his sleep earlier this year (heart failure). It was a gift to his owner; she didn’t have to make the heart-wrenching decision. Another friend was saying she thought the decision should lie with the vet, that it’s unfair for us to make the decision. I really don’t know. I am dreading the day.

Caring for an elderly dog is not easy. It’s exhausting. And anticipating the dreaded day is terrifying. Thinking of you and holding you in my thoughts and in my heart.

 

[Sophiedoodle]

Nothing to add, just a couple of photos of our sweet old girl when she stayed with us in May

 

[edzbird]

All I can say is, I understand

 

[Emily]

I have nothing useful to add but I wanted to say I'm following along and thinking of you and dear Lilly

 

[MellowYellow]

I understand exactly what you are going through Jac. It's so very difficult and painful. I was just saying to my OH, if only we didn't have to make the decision, if someone else would say 'today is the right time', that would somehow make it easier, but the fact that we have to make the decision, as loving and caring as it is, to end the life of a dear, dear friend... it's heartrending.