The Kennel Club - no hoomans allowed!

Atemas

UK Tour Guide
My bottom exploded yesterday morning and then all day I was making horrible smells. Mumsie and Hooman Daddy kept saying ‘Red, poo’. Then last night I needed to go outside for an explosion so I cried and they came running. I had the biggest explosion ever. I am still making smells - it’s horrible.

Red
 
Location
Norfolk
Why have you got a sploding bottom Red? Did you do the eeting things? Mum keeps rushing Toffee down the gardin and leavin me things to eat :D. Last week she left the bin and yesterday she left the wash disher thing open. Toffee is a real nusance but he does have his uses :D.

Ripple
 
*PIGLETINA!!* @Lara_Pigletina
When is yur new human mini pig arriving?
Must be soon. Ripple has loads of tips fur yew I'm shure.
Lilly x
‘Parently that bald pig-puppy is pretty much baked now and ready to come out although she will hopefully wait another two weeks. She lives in pig-mummy’s bump at the moment. I like pressing my face into the puppee-bump whilst pig-mummy strokes my ears except that puppee kicked me in the snout last time I did that :mad: pig-daddy played some screechy puppee-noises on his phone to me the other day, it made my head go sideways and one of my ears go inside out at first but then it was boring and I went outside to eat cherry tomatoes.
 
Mummy first took me to that place (again:() where everybody wears white jackets and they weigh me and then use strange gadgets on me! Sometimes they even shave off some of my coat!! How rude!! I don't know what happened but Mummy was really happy and the white coat man just gave me lots of rubs and tickles! Afterwards I was even allowed a walk without my lead in my favourite wood! I even had a nice fish treat! Maybe Mummy is so happy that she won't notice that I played with her favourite sandal...........very enthusiastically......
 
This morning there was this massif monster on our gardin , it was grey and wite and it was rite by the fish pond , so I chased it and wen it flew off, its flying fins were enormous .Then it came back agin , so Daddy has been to get a funny fing , its a pretend massif fing and they put it by the fish pond . I fink its a herin , Nelly x
 
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