Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
Tried it. It gets me up to 30 minutes or so, thenSit on a cushion or pillow will help your posterior
. Guess I need an industrial strength tush cush?
The Labraventures of Carbón, Spanish (ex-) foster dog extraordinaire
- Thread starter Emily_Babbelhund
- Start date
. Guess I need an industrial strength tush cush?
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
Hola todos!
It is I, your favourite Spanish gentleman dog. It was a hard day for me, amigos. First I got scared by a bus. It was making a horrible sound that was only horrible to me. Silly humans did not hear how horrible it was. As I am very brave, you know this, you also know that it must have been horrible indeed for me to tuck under my tail, lay back my soft velvety ears and look at ML with mournful eyes. It did not help that we had to walk to the car, which is very far from our house, and there were lots of people and wet from above and that horrible bus all at the same time. I love living in Regensburg, but I do not understand why our TARDIS cannot be right outside our front door like it is everyplace else we live. ML really needs to improve this situation, especially when there is wet from above!
Donde estoy? Where was I? Oh yes, my hard day. After the horrible bus, we went to see Dr Patzak, my favourite doctor. I made lovely eyes to a dog from Greece in the waiting room. His ML said that normally he is afraid of black dogs but my own ML said that no one is afraid of me because I have a baby face. I think of myself more of a young George Clooney type, so I am sure that ML meant to say a charming, handsome and distinguished face and not "baby" at all. Pfft!
I graciously greeted Dr Patzak and the four or five dogs that live in her exam room. You have to be careful with those chicas: they demand respect and will put me in my place if I do not complement their wisdom and beauty. Some people may think it is strange that Dr. Patzak's dogs are in the exam room all day. I am just grateful that there are only five in there and the other ten are in the office helping out. I do not think I could make it past a gauntlet of the full fifteen!
This is where the bad day really started. I was lifted up onto the exam table and after I gave Dr Patzak many besitos, she tied a funny thing on my leg and started to drill for blood. Over and over! By the time the blood finally came, she had shaved six bare spots on my legs looking for a vein and poked me three times! Aye, aye, aye. I gave her and ML my saddest face and both kept saying I was a brave boy and they were sorry. After the second poke, ML said she would come back another day when I had more blood: she does not like to see my sad face. The third try worked, though, and Dr Patzak took two full tubes of blood. I cannot lie, mis amigos, I was feeling queasy when ML finally lifted me down from the table.
The final injury was to come. On the way out, ML asked the nice assistant to weigh me on the special scale. "Carbon has been working very hard on his diet," ML said. And I have! So little food, so much running. I have muscles and a waist and everything! Except...
...I still weigh 29,7 kg, exactly the same as after I had a month of eating two breakfasts and corned beef butterballs. ML and I looked at each other: how could this be?! Life is so unfair. I am going to need a week of two breakfasts to recover from the disappointment.
ML and I came home, through more wet from above, and agreed that what we really needed to cheer us up was a snack and a cuddle. We both feel much better now, even though I am still not too happy about my naked patches all over my legs. Of course, I can make even "moth-eaten" look muy guapo, very attractive, but with 2 degrees and wet from above, it is a little chilly on my poor appendages.
No matter! We Spanish gentleman are tough customers, si? Onward, vamos!
It is I, your favourite Spanish gentleman dog. It was a hard day for me, amigos. First I got scared by a bus. It was making a horrible sound that was only horrible to me. Silly humans did not hear how horrible it was. As I am very brave, you know this, you also know that it must have been horrible indeed for me to tuck under my tail, lay back my soft velvety ears and look at ML with mournful eyes. It did not help that we had to walk to the car, which is very far from our house, and there were lots of people and wet from above and that horrible bus all at the same time. I love living in Regensburg, but I do not understand why our TARDIS cannot be right outside our front door like it is everyplace else we live. ML really needs to improve this situation, especially when there is wet from above!
Donde estoy? Where was I? Oh yes, my hard day. After the horrible bus, we went to see Dr Patzak, my favourite doctor. I made lovely eyes to a dog from Greece in the waiting room. His ML said that normally he is afraid of black dogs but my own ML said that no one is afraid of me because I have a baby face. I think of myself more of a young George Clooney type, so I am sure that ML meant to say a charming, handsome and distinguished face and not "baby" at all. Pfft!
I graciously greeted Dr Patzak and the four or five dogs that live in her exam room. You have to be careful with those chicas: they demand respect and will put me in my place if I do not complement their wisdom and beauty. Some people may think it is strange that Dr. Patzak's dogs are in the exam room all day. I am just grateful that there are only five in there and the other ten are in the office helping out. I do not think I could make it past a gauntlet of the full fifteen!
This is where the bad day really started. I was lifted up onto the exam table and after I gave Dr Patzak many besitos, she tied a funny thing on my leg and started to drill for blood. Over and over! By the time the blood finally came, she had shaved six bare spots on my legs looking for a vein and poked me three times! Aye, aye, aye. I gave her and ML my saddest face and both kept saying I was a brave boy and they were sorry. After the second poke, ML said she would come back another day when I had more blood: she does not like to see my sad face. The third try worked, though, and Dr Patzak took two full tubes of blood. I cannot lie, mis amigos, I was feeling queasy when ML finally lifted me down from the table.
The final injury was to come. On the way out, ML asked the nice assistant to weigh me on the special scale. "Carbon has been working very hard on his diet," ML said. And I have! So little food, so much running. I have muscles and a waist and everything! Except...
...I still weigh 29,7 kg, exactly the same as after I had a month of eating two breakfasts and corned beef butterballs. ML and I looked at each other: how could this be?! Life is so unfair. I am going to need a week of two breakfasts to recover from the disappointment.
ML and I came home, through more wet from above, and agreed that what we really needed to cheer us up was a snack and a cuddle. We both feel much better now, even though I am still not too happy about my naked patches all over my legs. Of course, I can make even "moth-eaten" look muy guapo, very attractive, but with 2 degrees and wet from above, it is a little chilly on my poor appendages.
No matter! We Spanish gentleman are tough customers, si? Onward, vamos!
- Location
- Cornwall , UK
Hang on in there brave boy , not long until you come to Pasty Land and your frens will cheer you up xxx
Candy
Biscuit Tin Guardian
- Location
- West Yorkshire, UK
GGJ sends muchos besitos, muy slobbery ones!
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
Mi amiga, those are the BEST ones!muy slobbery ones!
ML is making lots of plans, plotting and plotting to smuggle us into the YouKay all while hiding from the COVID. I tell her, "This is not necessary: I will simply dazzle all with my charm. Border control will let us in and the COVID will not dare touch us!"
Si, si, you understand me completely!Our poor brave Spanish gentleman dog
Boogie
Moderator
- Location
- Manchester UK
- Location
- Close to Devon/Somerset border
I don't get some of yer words lovely spanish boy but I know what yer mean about those needle stabby things. Hey, if you get here, you can play with my red dragon, s'long as you promise to give it back - AND you can lie on my soft bed with me under the radiator when it's really cold, like now.
Lotsa likky, slobbery stuff from me - Molly
Lotsa likky, slobbery stuff from me - Molly
It was the wet from above making your beautiful coat heavy, Carbon. Surely ML realised that!
Oh man, @Emily_Babbelhund you are the funniest writer around!! I just read that out loud to my husband and could barely finish a sentence without guffawing through the words. Oh my word!!! Brilliant!! Of course, heart rending for poor, darling Carbon. The poor boy, so many injuries in one day. Next time take a kilo of sugar to calibrate the scale because I’m sure it must’ve been wrong!!!!!!
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
Ahem, ML here with a small correction as I should clarify something that Carbon said: I am NOT smuggling us into the UK. I am, however, keeping an eagle eye on the changing rules in the UK, France and Germany and the COVID hotspots so that we travel within all laws and guidelines AND stay as safe as possible. It feels a bit like trying to play a shell game blindfolded but I think I've got a good plan A, B and C going. 
He's actually looking quite good weight-wise...but I may be biased. I've massively increased his protein so I think he's put on some serious muscle which he didn't have before. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
The only thing a bit sad about Carbon after today is all the shaved patches on his legs. He's looking like an over-loved teddy bear.
Ha, great idea...I'm sure the scales were wrong.
He's actually looking quite good weight-wise...but I may be biased. I've massively increased his protein so I think he's put on some serious muscle which he didn't have before. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
The only thing a bit sad about Carbon after today is all the shaved patches on his legs. He's looking like an over-loved teddy bear.
Beanwood
Administrator
Well if he looks good struttin his stuff AND the harness fits then no problem....."I am too sexy for my harness, too sexy for my harness, so sexy it hurts...." Right Said Fred...
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
Hola todos!
I have been very quiet lately because I am very busy. Oh la, I have had walks with my tiny friend Fine where I found delicious human poo to snack on not once but twice: dos veces! Life is good! ML put me on my lead after the second deleeeeciuos taste, but it was worth it. May every dog be as happy!
ML says, "Carbón, how can you not find your Monkey when he is under the duvet but you can find human poo from half a mile away?" Well, mis amigos, that is easy: Monkey does not smell nearly as good as human poo.
Yet.
We will work on that, right Monkey?
I have also been to visit my lawyer. He was not in the office - which was very poor planning on ML's part if you ask me - but his human assistant shared some cookies with me. Humans are so easy to train, no? It was a good day and I bounce-bounced all the way there and bounce-bounced all the way back.
My training of ML is ongoing. Slowly she is learning new words and new signs for the things I want her to do. We dance forward, we dance back. I go between her legs! She says, "Besitos" and I give her a HUGE kiss on the cheek. That makes her laugh, then I can kiss her right on her teeth. This makes her scream, "You are disgusting! I know what that tongue has been doing!"
I ask you, what does she mean by that? I have only been doing perfectly normal Spanish Gentleman Dog things with my tongue: tasting delicious poo, making sure that cigarette butt on the ground is not a piece of cookie, licking the side of our building to read my neighbour dog's news, and claro que si, of course, licking my own perfect backside.
Now, I ask you: what about that is "disgusting"? Humans are so irrational. Madre de dios.
I am also being a very good boy and taking good care of ML. She has been having some bad times when she wants to go under the duvet with Monkey and hide. When that happens, we all go under the duvet together and I get as close as I can to her. Sometimes I have to stand up and turn around five times before I find the perfect position that is guaranteed to make her feel better. Then I lay very quietly and work hard to think good and calm thoughts. It is a very important job, un trabajo muy importante.
Sometimes she wants to stay under the duvet ALL afternoon, so it is also my job to tell her when to get up. A little pause under the duvet makes you feel better, but too much can make you fell sadder. That is raro, strange, no? But it is true! That means that at just the right time, I start to wag my tail: thump, thump, thump! Time to get up and be brave, ML!
ML thinks I thump my tail just because I want her to feed me, but that is just my cunning strategy. I do it so that she can get up and feel better. Vale, ok - maybe I do it to get my dinner, too. Dinner makes EVERYBODY feel better, no?
That is all for tonight, mis amigos. Now it is time for a play on the bed and then sleep until morning. ML says I get to see my tiny friend Fine again tomorrow. That means tonight I will have sweet dreams of running with her along the Danube. And poo. I am pretty sure I will dream of poo, too. La vida es buena: life is good.
I have been very quiet lately because I am very busy. Oh la, I have had walks with my tiny friend Fine where I found delicious human poo to snack on not once but twice: dos veces! Life is good! ML put me on my lead after the second deleeeeciuos taste, but it was worth it. May every dog be as happy!
ML says, "Carbón, how can you not find your Monkey when he is under the duvet but you can find human poo from half a mile away?" Well, mis amigos, that is easy: Monkey does not smell nearly as good as human poo.
Yet.
We will work on that, right Monkey?
I have also been to visit my lawyer. He was not in the office - which was very poor planning on ML's part if you ask me - but his human assistant shared some cookies with me. Humans are so easy to train, no? It was a good day and I bounce-bounced all the way there and bounce-bounced all the way back.
My training of ML is ongoing. Slowly she is learning new words and new signs for the things I want her to do. We dance forward, we dance back. I go between her legs! She says, "Besitos" and I give her a HUGE kiss on the cheek. That makes her laugh, then I can kiss her right on her teeth. This makes her scream, "You are disgusting! I know what that tongue has been doing!"
I ask you, what does she mean by that? I have only been doing perfectly normal Spanish Gentleman Dog things with my tongue: tasting delicious poo, making sure that cigarette butt on the ground is not a piece of cookie, licking the side of our building to read my neighbour dog's news, and claro que si, of course, licking my own perfect backside.
Now, I ask you: what about that is "disgusting"? Humans are so irrational. Madre de dios.
I am also being a very good boy and taking good care of ML. She has been having some bad times when she wants to go under the duvet with Monkey and hide. When that happens, we all go under the duvet together and I get as close as I can to her. Sometimes I have to stand up and turn around five times before I find the perfect position that is guaranteed to make her feel better. Then I lay very quietly and work hard to think good and calm thoughts. It is a very important job, un trabajo muy importante.
Sometimes she wants to stay under the duvet ALL afternoon, so it is also my job to tell her when to get up. A little pause under the duvet makes you feel better, but too much can make you fell sadder. That is raro, strange, no? But it is true! That means that at just the right time, I start to wag my tail: thump, thump, thump! Time to get up and be brave, ML!
ML thinks I thump my tail just because I want her to feed me, but that is just my cunning strategy. I do it so that she can get up and feel better. Vale, ok - maybe I do it to get my dinner, too. Dinner makes EVERYBODY feel better, no?
That is all for tonight, mis amigos. Now it is time for a play on the bed and then sleep until morning. ML says I get to see my tiny friend Fine again tomorrow. That means tonight I will have sweet dreams of running with her along the Danube. And poo. I am pretty sure I will dream of poo, too. La vida es buena: life is good.
Boogie
Moderator
- Location
- Manchester UK
Lots of love to you both. I hope a lovely walk by the beautiful Danube will make you both feel much better.
Hugs and lambies.
Hugs and lambies.
- Location
- Herefordshire, UK
- Location
- The Hague, The Netherlands
Emily_Babbelhund
Mama Red HOT Pepper
- Location
- Regensburg, Germany
It's just my normal December almost-Christmas ick. As soon as Christmas hits, I usually start to peek out from the duvet a little more.
Atemas
UK Tour Guide
- Location
- North Cambridgeshire